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"Don't care if it is true 'cause I love it so well."

Caution: Margaritas may make your clothes fall off.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a303/BirdLady4456/VernnElizabeth.jpg Dr. Elizabeth Kamaka with my white-fronted Amazon, Vern. Cool! My avian vet, Dr. Elizabeth Kamaka, will be on Animal Planet tonight at 9 PM / 8 central, (maybe 9:30 / 8:30). She will be interviewed on an episode of "Weird, ...

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby ph...

Sail on, Estelle Gettleman.

My favorite lines...

As Dorothy gently tries to wake Sophia; "Salvidor, if you want to fool around, take off your tee-shirt."

And "Salvidor, next time we start lower on the bed or we take off the headboard."

Skibo wrote:It sure looked like he was wearing some type of wrap around his midriff.

I believe the word you are looking for is "Girdle."

After watching the clip again, he does seem stiff and maybe a little thick around the middle.

I got the same joke on the same day from our "Orgy of Georgie" calendar.

So, yup, it is George Carlin and I thought it was funny.

It takes all kinds, I guess.

A young Arkansas man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmacist: 'I got a hot date tonight, an' I need me some pertection. How much is a pack a' them rubbers gonna cost me?' The pharmacist responds: 'A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax.' 'TACKS!' the shocked redneck says. 'Gawd a' Mighty,...

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were faithful and loving wives,however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she wou...

A man goes to an oral surgeon to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man a shot. 'No way! No needles!'. I hate needles the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man objects. 'I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas m...

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said "Are you crazy? No...

If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it remove s large pollutants l...

FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN WOMEN: A woman didn't come home last night. The next morning she told her husband that she slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN MEN: A man didn't come home last night. The next morning he...

If you love dogs or yeast rolls, you might enjoy this. This is hysterical! I have no clue who wrote this, but it is the funniest story I have read in a LONG time. Fortunately this is not my story... Subject: Jasper and the Uncooked Yeast Rolls We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to ...

From "The Red Green Show;"

The Men's Anonymous Prayer

I'm a man, but I can change,
If I have to, I guess.

What did I miss? I got nothing!

Earl and Bubba was fishing, drinking beer and chewing tobacco when Bubba said "I think I'm gonna divorce my wife, she ain't spoke to me in two months." Earl leaned over and spit some tobacco, took a sip of beer and said "I reckon you oughta thank that over a mite, women like that is h...

Let's see, I had the flu in 1975, on top of a killer New Year's Day Hangover and again in 2002.

Nope, no vaccine for me.

"He who fart in church sit in own pew."

Years ago I had a pair of cockatiels;T-Bird and Rita (her full name was Margarita Marley Tucker).
When T-Bird finished mating with Rita he always took a bow or two or twenty.

That is a great video!