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There was a little girl who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad........ She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with he...

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager, "How much is that new Barbie in the window?" The Manager replied, "Which one? We have....

Here are some of the best refrigerator-magnet and kitchen/threshold-plaque sayings I've ever seen! ~ "So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust!" ~ "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused." ~ "Ring bell for maid service. If no an...

'Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is b...

A young girl from Donegal leaves home to find work in the bright lights of London. She comes home 6 months later and steps out of a taxi wearing a full-length mink coat. "Begorrah, Colleen," says her mother. "Tis a lovely soft coat yer wearin' an' it looks so expensive. Where did ye ...

AHmed and Hamid are both beggars at several motorway services. Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend . Hamid only brings in 2 to 3 pounds a day. Hamid asks Ahmed how he manages to bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day. Ahmed says, "...

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "Two Prostitutes -- $50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JE...