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Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary: 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:00 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thin...

For a chuckle I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue, and I couldn't put it down. I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on and on. So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He sai...

Four catholic ladies are having lunch at a church social. The first lady says my son is a Priest when he walks into a room everyone stands up and says ‘father’. It makes me very proud. The second lady says my son is a Bishop when he walks into a room everyone stands up and says ‘your eminence’. It ...

William Shakespeare was moved to ask, "What's in a name?" Well, in the case of Lavender Hanky, Hedda Lettuce and Stan Dupp the answer is a hearty chuckle. Not to mention poor old Dwayne, the son of Mr and Mrs Dwopp, who must be rather tired of hearing "Dwayne Dwopps keep falling on m...

Dear Dogs of Mine, It seems that lately things have gotten a smidge slack around here. I feel it is time to remind you of the rules that heretofore we have operated under. You are both cute dogs, but your continued cuteness in no way negates our previous agreement. Let me remind you of a few detail...

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' & 'My Life' by Bill Clinton. One student turned in the fo! llowing book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report. Titanic:.... cost - $29.99 Clinton...

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorc...

1 .If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 5. If...

Mike gets home late one night and his wife says, 'Where In the hell have you been?' Mike replies, 'I was out getting a tattoo.' 'A tattoo?' she frowned. 'What kind of tattoo did you get?' 'I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates,' he said proudly. 'What the hell were you thinking?' she said, sha...

A couple were lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth Wedding anniversary when the wife says "Darling, as this is such a special Occasion I think that it is time I made a confession. Before we were married I was a hooker for eight years" The husband ponders for a moment and th...

An elderly couple in their 80's were about to get married. She said: I want to keep my house. He said: That's fine with me. She said: And I want to keep my Cadillac. He said: That's fine with me. She said: And I want to have sex 6 times a week. He said: That's fine with me . . . put me down for Fri...