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I always did think Dick Cheney was a . . . .

Oh, nevermind!

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of lawyers on them...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer? She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney. How does an attorney sle...

What I Want in a Man, Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 34 ) 1. Ni...

David Letterman: -"Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney." -"But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor." -"We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 7...

Jimmy's politcal leanings are just one more example of what a wise man he is . . .

Go Seahawks!

Lines I have heard. . . "Please return your seatback to its most upright and uncomfortable position." "In the case that the oxygens masks do deploy, please put your own on before helping any children, or people acting like children, with theirs." "Please wait until the airpl...

Heck of a way to talk about our next president !

Carmel Beach (Carmel, CA) Cannon Beach (Oregon) Shi Shi Beach (Washington) Sunset Beach (North Shore Oahu) Ehukai Beach (North Shore Oahu, home of the "Banzai Pipeline") Waimea Bay (North Shore Oahu) Makena Beach (Maui) Manly Beach (Sydney, Australia)(My #1) 90 Mile Beach (North Island, Ne...

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had "covertly" funded a project with the U.S. Automakers for the past 5 years, whereby the automakers were installing black-box voice recorders in 4-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUVs in an effort to determine, in fatal accide...

-If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

I don't think he was at the game, he just left Aspen this morning. He's in the air, on his way to St. Martin.

There's this guy on a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking....

A friend reminded me about the time he was putting flowers on his Grandmother's grave when he noticed a man, very distraught, in front of a tombstone several yards away. The man was on his knees, hands tightly clasped in front of him, rocking back and forth, head tilted upward to heaven, tears strea...

FEMALE PRAYER Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep. One who's handsome, smart, and strong, One who loves to listen long. One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray that he's gainfully employed, And when I spend his cash, won't be annoye...

This is how to make great Christmas cookies!!! A Christmas cookie recipe worth your time... 1 cup of water 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup of sugar 1 tsp salt 1 cup of brown sugar lemon juice 4 large eggs 1 cup nuts 2 cups of dried fruit 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla -Sample the Cuervo to check quality. -Ta...

"With no money, no restaurant experience and no clue of what they were about to embark upon, Laren Gartner and Edna Bayliff opened up Cheeseburger In Paradise at their favorite vacation spot on Maui. Fifteen years later, the two women from California have grown their business and the Cheeseburg...

It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news. Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly ...

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollars in the pipeline through Washington, designating Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English diction...