1. How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
He was hooked on trees his whole life.
2. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had very low elf esteem.
3. What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
Hits a gnome and runs.
4. What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
Saint Nickel-less.
5. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
6. Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
His wife was a total flake.
7. Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
Because every single buck is dear to him!
8. What do you get when you cross a duck with Santa?
A Christmas quacker.
9. What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
Crisp Pringles.
10. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
They’re into all the wrapping.
11. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house!
12. How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?
Nurse them back to elf.
13. What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can’t hear you!
14. What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
15. What do you call a blind reindeer?
I have no eye deer.
16. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Rude-olph.
17. How is Christmas exactly like your job?
You do all the work, and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
18. What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?
Wrap.
19. What do you call a scary looking reindeer?
A cariboo.
20. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
-"BB"-
We Need a Little Laugh This Christmas
Moderator: SMLCHNG
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- At the Bama Breeze
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We Need a Little Laugh This Christmas
"I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead."
"Some of it's magic, and some of it's tragic, but I've had a good life all the way."
"Some of it's magic, and some of it's tragic, but I've had a good life all the way."
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- Hoot!
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Re: We Need a Little Laugh This Christmas
I see you've been hoarding Christmas Cracker jokes...
Always be yourself
Unless you can be Batman
Then always be Batman
Unless you can be Batman
Then always be Batman