Top Ten ways you can tell someone has never been to a Buffet

poorhoratio · Post by **poorhoratio** » April 18, 2002 12:47 am

They think the concert is the main event the parking lot parrothead party is the main event >

ParrotheadMinnie · Post by **ParrotheadMinnie** » April 18, 2002 10:57 am

True stories from Raleigh 4/16: (all different folks)
- They now have 2 Buffett CDs they can sing along to: SYKBH and TTS. big woo.
- They don't know what the two guys in the golf cart with the video camera are doing. They're afraid Mama's going to see them drunk on the 6:00 news, so they hide behind the car when everyone else runs up to the camera to be on the video.
- They come over to your tent and read the signs ("Louie's Backyard", "Desdemona's Bake Shop and Space Station", "Blue Heaven Rendezvous", and "Captain Tony's Saloon") and ask "Which one of you is Tony? Can we borrow your spatula?"
- They SIT in their SEATS.
- They get up and leave at the end of the 2nd set.
- They are clueless during all the FSOTW songs, and didn't realize the medley after intermission was not really just one song.
- Their food is KFC chicken and potato salad. (nothin against KFC, but it's just not Buffett-y to me)
- They brought 2 6-packs of beer for 3 people.
- They arrive at 7:15. ("It's an 8:00 show, right?")

_________________
We'll laugh, and smoke, and cuss, and joke, and have a glass of wine...........

[size=-1][ This Message was edited by: ParrotheadMinnie on 2002-04-18 11:06 ][/size]

scottrenton · Post by **scottrenton** » June 7, 2002 3:35 pm

I can't believe this one's not on the list:
How do you tell if someone's never been to the Show? They are the one in the reserved seats, with their back to the stage saying "What the hell are all these people doing?" It took my wife 4 shows before she actually started watching the stage.

Southern Cross · Post by **Southern Cross** » June 8, 2002 1:31 am

They won't buy a t-shirt because its a "rip-off".

Cheapdive · Post by **Cheapdive** » June 9, 2002 1:26 pm

They ask you where is Jimmy's Buffet when they see your T-T-S t-shirt!

parrot-bear · Post by **parrot-bear** » June 10, 2002 2:01 pm

they get p***ed when they get stuck behind the posts on the lawn at Cincy.

A1APHAN123 · Post by **A1APHAN123** » June 15, 2002 12:35 am

Both the guy and his date are on a cellphone the entire concert.

Old Friend the Squid · Post by **Old Friend the Squid** » June 17, 2002 4:14 pm

These are actual incidents that have happened when I took a "virgin" to their first Jimmy show:
10- he showed up to my house before the show all dressed up? "Dude, people are gonna think you're security, lets get you in a flower shirt immediatly"!
9- forced me to listen to the radio? on the way there. "Man, why didn't I drive?"
8- got so drunk before we even got to the parking lot that he nearly passed out in the hotel room. "Pace yourself brother"
7- once we got to the lot he got lost at least 3 times trying to find the bathroom.
6- left his tickets in the car and didn't notice until we nearly got to the gate. "Kept calling me paranoid for doing a ticket check every 5 minutes"
5- once inside the venue, he was so overwhelmed that he nearly got trampled by the P-Heads. "Hurry up! We gotta find a good spot on the lawn"
4- Once the show started, he kept yelling for Brahma Fear over and over. "OK, nothings wrong with that, just not so obnoxius man"
3- Kept screaming for Margaritaville. "OK, that is wrong..PLEASE STOP!!"
2- got lost after the show and wasn't found until nearly 2 hours afterwords. "I agree, that can happen to the best of us"
1- He had no clue who "The Squid" was...

See ya in Cincy on the Far Side of the World!

bixxx · Post by **bixxx** » June 20, 2002 5:01 pm

they ask you to pick a couple of extra tickets up for GWoods as they might want to go
Ask why all the campers are heading into theparking lot
why you have to get there at noon when the show doesn't start till 8
bring a blanket to put down on the lawn
drink a twelvepack, pass out either in the lot or after the first song

PHat Matt · Post by **PHat Matt** » June 29, 2002 6:17 pm

THEY SIT DOWN!

East Texas Parrothead · Post by **East Texas Parrothead** » June 29, 2002 9:31 pm

On 2000-08-29 13:03:00, Anonymous wrote:
Posted By Tim
If the concert doesn't start until 8:00 why are we getting there at noon?

or

Why are we taking so much stuff? We're going to a concert not the beach. I was asked this one before the Sat. show in Cincy

My boss didn't understand why I need the whole day off ....

So...

I got everyone in the parking lot to sign their names and home cities on 4 huge lime green poster boards...told them it was my 'permission slip' to return to w**k on Monday....

Was a great ice breaker....got peeps from New Zeland, Australia, Belieze, New Jersery, LA, Alaska, England and New York City....it was phabulous.....have them posted around my cubby at work.....

margaritagrl26 · Post by **margaritagrl26** » August 21, 2002 9:56 pm

I'm forced to add a few or more after my Pittsburgh experience.

1. Do you think seven thirty is early enough to arrive for the show????
2. They dont understand when you are walking around in your big hat, grass skirt, leis, bathing suit top.
3. Stand beside you at the show the entire time with arms folded across his/her chest and stare at you(apparently they feel your making an ass outta urself and should be removed).
4. Ask is that Jimmy???? When he first comes on stage.
5. Why in the world did someone just hit me in the head with a beach ball????
6. Using the cell phone during the concert????
7. Continuously getting up and down and up and down during the show and then not even caring that they knocked over your beer. This actually happend to me in Charlotte.
8. SITTING at a tailgate with no: grill, alcohol, food, decorations.

TheSecretsInTheCrust · Post by **TheSecretsInTheCrust** » August 29, 2002 7:51 pm

They stare in disbelief when you pack one cooler with food, and the other two with booze.

DejaLola · Post by **DejaLola** » September 21, 2002 12:03 am

from mg26...8. SITTING at a tailgate with no: grill, alcohol, food, decorations.

OK, so this was ME when I was a Buffett virgin

We did bring food though (Cubans, appropriately enough), and walked around gawking at EVERYTHING !! Of course, that was 4 concerts ago, and I've learned a whole bunch since then

jeepgirl · Post by **jeepgirl** » September 21, 2002 2:16 pm

this was in our local paper in regard to next weeks show thought it would be appropriate under this thread:

EVERYTHING VIRGIN PARROT HEADS NEED TO KNOW FOR A BUFFET CONCERT:

first of all parrotheads is one word and Bubba has 2 t's

1.Pre concert meal:Tacos,enchiladas,burritos or anything Mexican will work to play into the whole "Changes in Latitudes,Changes in Attitudes" theme.
Extra credit goes to those who are actually able to find Caribbean food.
And, of course, one can't go wrong with a "Cheeseburger in Paradise".

2.Drink of Choice:Wow. if you need to read this one, then you really don't
know much about Buffett. Margaritas, with salt, never go out of style at a Buffett concert. For those mixing at home, use the singer's own brand of tequila, Margaritaville. Mexican beers, especially Corona are also quite popular.

3.Say salt! When Buffett gets around to singing "Margaritaville", otherwise known as "the Parrot Head's National Anthem", look for the line: "Searching for my lost shaker of salt." After he says "salt" ,yell "Salt, Salt, Salt" as loud as you can. Trust me,the rest of the crowd will do it as well. 4.Left, then right: During "Fins", the audience members put their hands above their heads so that the venue appears to be a sea of sharks. When Buffett gets to the chorus, get ready to move your hands to the left then to the right. Otherwise you'll smack fins with the person standing next to you.

5.The next song:During the ballad "Come Monday", turn to the guy next to you and say " I bet he plays "Boat Drinks" next".

6.Once again: Repeat the above strategy during "Margaritaville" by making the prediction that Buffett will follow with "One Particular Harbor". Then deny that you read the set list on Buffett's Web site.

7.Don't miss: During the last few years, Buffett's best song in concert has been his version of Stephen Still's powerful "Southern Cross". Again, usingmy psychic powers, I predict that the song will come toward the end of the second set.

8.The uniform: Anything tropical or alcohol related. If you could find one of those Hawaiian shirts with the beers of the world on them, you'd really be set.

9. Environmental cause of choice:Save the manatee.

10.Most important:don't drink and drive. Get a designated drive. Mountain view cops know what goes on at a Buffett show and they will be ready.
_________________
DQ!!!

MJB · Post by **MJB** » March 4, 2003 4:10 pm

They keep asking when are they going to play November Rain?[If we wern't all crazy we would go insane] overherd at Great Woods

azparrot · Post by **azparrot** » March 5, 2003 9:51 am

At intermission, they think the show is over and they leave.

phillipg43 · Post by **phillipg43** » April 17, 2003 10:09 pm

fins up???????? whats that mean??????

Burny Charles · Post by **Burny Charles** » April 24, 2003 2:14 am

Here's one:

Why does he talk so much between songs?

(duh, maybe its because the crowd is listening and cheers to everything he says)

mikemck · Post by **mikemck** » August 28, 2003 12:30 am

They say, "But you've already seen him twenty times and twice this summer".

They say, "What, the 'Margaritaville' guy? He's still alive?"

You pick her up and she's wearing a nice, dress up pant suit. You're wearing a 1994 "Meeting of the Minds" T-Shirt, a grass skirt, a coconut bra. (This really happened)

Isn't it great that all of the stuff that would get you locked up anyplace else is almost mandatory at a Buffett show?

This year, we had about 100 people at our tailgate party and we were right where the police were stationed. A couple of them came over and hung out at out tiki bar.

One of them said, "You know, out of all the concerts we have to work every year, we dread every one but this one. Look at all these people. They've all been drinking since noon but we haven't had one problem out of all the parties here. We think it's great that you guys clean up after yourselves".

We had diving contests into a pool and we got the cops to act as judges. It was great.

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Top Ten ways you can tell someone has never been to a Buffet

top 10 resons to tell they have never been to a Buffett show