10. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.
9. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
8. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
7. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
6. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
4. 'Family meetings' are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
3. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
2. The cat is on Valium.
1. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".-"BB"-