Can I get some Phin Power sent my way, please?
Posted: December 4, 2020 2:09 am
I'm going through a very rough patch right now.
Earlier this week, I came across a post on another bulletin board I frequent. It was a "Farewell, (name)" post. The name given was the handle of someone of the female persuasion who at one time was a very dear friend of mine. We were strictly friends in the truest sense of the word. We met at the MN State Fair as the result of a 'Face-to-Face' for another now-defunct bulletin board — we were the only two who showed up. She was 47 and I was 46; we hit it off well that day and spent an enjoyable afternoon together. Since we lived roughly 150 miles apart, we would occasionally exchange week-end visits maybe three or four times a year and share other activities together. But this didn't happen all that often, and eventually, after about six or seven years of this 'internet pen pal' friendship, we eventually drifted apart and went our separate ways on the path of life. Even so, she was able to somehow work her way deep into my heart, because — and without going into a 'poor pitiful me' backstory — this time that I spent with in her company (as well as looking forward to the next time), platonic though it might have been, was and still is the closest thing to an actual relationship with another human being that I have ever experienced.
Today, I received definitive, undeniable proof that this person has in fact passed away due to complications following a bout with COVID. She went into the hospital (ICU) in mid-November and was on a ventilator and sedation up until about Thanksgiving, when they started to wean her off of the ventilator. Her prognosis was favorable; in fact, she had actually come off the ventilator entirely (although was still on O₂) and been moved out of the ICU, but then came down with a bacterial infection which took her right back in. By 12/1 she had lost the fight. She was a bright, intelligent, full-of-life woman until this came into her life. She was 67.
It has been a rough day. I'm trying to remember her as she was ... and mostly succeeding; but there is a void in my heart that I know will never be filled; will never heal; will always be an open wound. I'm also spending a lot more time reflecting on my own mortality and the overall uncertainty of life in general. I'm 66 myself; my Dad only made it to 77 — how much more time, even without the Virus of Death covering the world, do I have left to me?
And pardon me while I go into a little rant mode here. This was all so goddamned unnecessary! We've been dealing with this virus for over TEN EFFING MONTHS now, and I lay the blame for my friend's death squarely in front of Donald Trump. If our so-called leader had actually tried to LEAD instead of play duck-and-cover when this thing first hit, maybe this never would have happened (maybe it still would have anyway, but since no one tried to do anything serious to stop this when we first had the chance, we'll never know, will we?)
I also call out the Republican Party and the Trumpanzees who made up his brainless base that got him elected in the first place, and anyone else who denied, minimized, and pooh-poohed the severity of this modern-day version of the Black Plague, even as the number of confirmed cases and the death toll kept rising. PHUQUE YOU, Dumb'old Trump; PHUQUE YOU, Moscow Mitch and the rest of the Republicunts in the Senate; PHUQUE YOU, Trumpanzees and deniers who ignored the coming scheiss-storm that we now find ourselves in the middle of; and a huge, two-handed, DOUBLE PHUQUE YOU to anyone who, after three-plus years of the dumpster fire that has been the Trump 'administration', still were ready and willing to vote for him AGAIN!!
Whew..... OK, sorry about that. Rant over.
I'll be OK. I'm tough, I'll pull through, I'll stay grounded, and I'm not the kind of person who goes off the deep end and does something stupid like climb into a bottle of Captain Morgan and pull the cork back in after me (or worse), but it's going to be an even-more miserable 'holiday' season than it was already shaping up to be. Just keep me in your thoughts and, yes, prayers too, OK?
-"BB"-
Earlier this week, I came across a post on another bulletin board I frequent. It was a "Farewell, (name)" post. The name given was the handle of someone of the female persuasion who at one time was a very dear friend of mine. We were strictly friends in the truest sense of the word. We met at the MN State Fair as the result of a 'Face-to-Face' for another now-defunct bulletin board — we were the only two who showed up. She was 47 and I was 46; we hit it off well that day and spent an enjoyable afternoon together. Since we lived roughly 150 miles apart, we would occasionally exchange week-end visits maybe three or four times a year and share other activities together. But this didn't happen all that often, and eventually, after about six or seven years of this 'internet pen pal' friendship, we eventually drifted apart and went our separate ways on the path of life. Even so, she was able to somehow work her way deep into my heart, because — and without going into a 'poor pitiful me' backstory — this time that I spent with in her company (as well as looking forward to the next time), platonic though it might have been, was and still is the closest thing to an actual relationship with another human being that I have ever experienced.
Today, I received definitive, undeniable proof that this person has in fact passed away due to complications following a bout with COVID. She went into the hospital (ICU) in mid-November and was on a ventilator and sedation up until about Thanksgiving, when they started to wean her off of the ventilator. Her prognosis was favorable; in fact, she had actually come off the ventilator entirely (although was still on O₂) and been moved out of the ICU, but then came down with a bacterial infection which took her right back in. By 12/1 she had lost the fight. She was a bright, intelligent, full-of-life woman until this came into her life. She was 67.
It has been a rough day. I'm trying to remember her as she was ... and mostly succeeding; but there is a void in my heart that I know will never be filled; will never heal; will always be an open wound. I'm also spending a lot more time reflecting on my own mortality and the overall uncertainty of life in general. I'm 66 myself; my Dad only made it to 77 — how much more time, even without the Virus of Death covering the world, do I have left to me?
And pardon me while I go into a little rant mode here. This was all so goddamned unnecessary! We've been dealing with this virus for over TEN EFFING MONTHS now, and I lay the blame for my friend's death squarely in front of Donald Trump. If our so-called leader had actually tried to LEAD instead of play duck-and-cover when this thing first hit, maybe this never would have happened (maybe it still would have anyway, but since no one tried to do anything serious to stop this when we first had the chance, we'll never know, will we?)
I also call out the Republican Party and the Trumpanzees who made up his brainless base that got him elected in the first place, and anyone else who denied, minimized, and pooh-poohed the severity of this modern-day version of the Black Plague, even as the number of confirmed cases and the death toll kept rising. PHUQUE YOU, Dumb'old Trump; PHUQUE YOU, Moscow Mitch and the rest of the Republicunts in the Senate; PHUQUE YOU, Trumpanzees and deniers who ignored the coming scheiss-storm that we now find ourselves in the middle of; and a huge, two-handed, DOUBLE PHUQUE YOU to anyone who, after three-plus years of the dumpster fire that has been the Trump 'administration', still were ready and willing to vote for him AGAIN!!
Whew..... OK, sorry about that. Rant over.
I'll be OK. I'm tough, I'll pull through, I'll stay grounded, and I'm not the kind of person who goes off the deep end and does something stupid like climb into a bottle of Captain Morgan and pull the cork back in after me (or worse), but it's going to be an even-more miserable 'holiday' season than it was already shaping up to be. Just keep me in your thoughts and, yes, prayers too, OK?
-"BB"-