No heart at all.....

MICHIPHIN · Post by **MICHIPHIN** » May 6, 2002 9:42 pm

Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife’s been
in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the
ER.
They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor. He
comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.

”Mr. Jones?” the doctor asks.

”Yes sir, what’s happened? How is my wife?”

The doctor sits next to him and says, “Not good news. Your wife’s
accident resulted in two fractures of her spine.”

”Oh my God” says Mr. Jones, “what will be her prognosis?”

”Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is
inoperable. She’ll have no motor skills or capability. This means you
will have to feed her.”

Mr. Jones begins to sob.

”And you’ll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent
pneumonia.”

Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.

”Then, of course,” the doctor continued, “you’ll have to diaper her as
she’ll have no control over her bladder and of course these diapers
must
be changed at least five times a day.”

Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs, wails.

The doctor continues: “And you’ll have to clean up her feces on a
regular basis as she’ll have no control over her sphincter. Her bowel
will
engorge whenever and quite often I’m afraid. Of course you must clean
her
immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she’ll be
emitting regularly.”

Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to
wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass.

Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the
shoulder.

”Hey, I’m just messin with you. She’s dead.”

phjrsaunt · Post by **phjrsaunt** » May 6, 2002 9:44 pm

OH, Michi!!!!!!!!

sailingagain · Post by **sailingagain** » May 7, 2002 1:31 pm

Oh man....that's brutal!!!

Dally · Post by **Dally** » May 7, 2002 11:56 pm

Oh man. . .that is terrible MICHI!!!

PHAW Webmistress · Post by **PHAW Webmistress** » May 7, 2002 11:58 pm

tsk tsk tsk.....

NJPhinPhan · Post by **NJPhinPhan** » May 9, 2002 12:08 am

Men

Sheesh.....

piratical nerves · Post by **piratical nerves** » May 9, 2002 12:33 am

Funnnnyyyyyyy

PerfectPartner · Post by **PerfectPartner** » May 11, 2002 2:08 pm

Michi, are you sure your not an EMT or Medic? Sounds like our sense of humor.

sailingagain · Post by **sailingagain** » May 11, 2002 3:39 pm

I just read it again......I love it!!!!!

Delta Parrot · Post by **Delta Parrot** » May 14, 2002 10:08 am

best thing i have read all morning

pair8head · Post by **pair8head** » May 14, 2002 12:27 pm

SICK SICK SICK.
I love it.