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New And Improved Star Wars scripts

Posted: September 10, 2002 10:50 am
by SMLCHNG
25 Lines from Star Wars That Can Be Improved if you substitute the
word "Pants"


1. A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.

2. You are unwise to lower your pants.

3. We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants up or down.

4. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.

5. These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.

6. I find your lack of pants disturbing.

7. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.

8. Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!

9. General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.

10. I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.

11. TK-421. . . Why aren't you in your pants?

12. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.

13. Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.

14. You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark.

15. Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off.

16. Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.

17. That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!

18. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

19. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.

20. Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for your sister!

21. Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.

22. Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.

23. Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.

24. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.

25. You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.

Posted: September 10, 2002 11:16 am
by redwinemaker
HMMMMM, Penny and Herbaman have an anniversary, doesn't play in the cafe all night and now this.... wonder what she was doing that got her mind in the gutter???

Posted: September 10, 2002 12:03 pm
by Fribble
hysterical ! thanks Penny

Posted: September 10, 2002 12:05 pm
by SMLCHNG
redwinemaker wrote:HMMMMM, Penny and Herbaman have an anniversary, doesn't play in the cafe all night and now this.... wonder what she was doing that got her mind in the gutter???
Ummm.. cleaning them?? :D

Posted: September 10, 2002 12:14 pm
by redwinemaker
SMLCHNG wrote:
redwinemaker wrote:HMMMMM, Penny and Herbaman have an anniversary, doesn't play in the cafe all night and now this.... wonder what she was doing that got her mind in the gutter???
Ummm.. cleaning them?? :D
Well, everybody has their name for it, I guess...

Posted: September 10, 2002 12:17 pm
by SMLCHNG
redwinemaker wrote:
SMLCHNG wrote:
redwinemaker wrote:HMMMMM, Penny and Herbaman have an anniversary, doesn't play in the cafe all night and now this.... wonder what she was doing that got her mind in the gutter???
Ummm.. cleaning them?? :D
Well, everybody has their name for it, I guess...
No, that's ironing, according to Phaw.. she said that..

Posted: September 10, 2002 3:38 pm
by Dally
Very funny LAM!!! :):):)

Posted: September 10, 2002 7:56 pm
by phjrsaunt
redwinemaker wrote:
SMLCHNG wrote:
redwinemaker wrote:HMMMMM, Penny and Herbaman have an anniversary, doesn't play in the cafe all night and now this.... wonder what she was doing that got her mind in the gutter???
Ummm.. cleaning them?? :D
Well, everybody has their name for it, I guess...
Hey, phor the record, "cleaning" has been a euphamism for "that" in the MSC for a long time! Actually, I started it I think! :wench:

Posted: September 10, 2002 8:04 pm
by SMLCHNG
Hmm... I never knew that Auntie! ;)

Posted: September 10, 2002 8:43 pm
by bravedave
SMLCHNG wrote: Ummm.. cleaning them?? :D
Speaking of which, does anybody know how to clean beer and boogers out of a keyboard?
(See, I was having a little drink when I read Penny's F****N hysterical post)

Posted: September 10, 2002 8:57 pm
by SMLCHNG
Dave, Dave, Dave... do try and control yourself!! ;) Try Windex.. and be careful in between those keys.. ;)

Posted: September 10, 2002 9:18 pm
by bravedave
Remember: a Jedi's strength flows from the Pants.

-Yoda

Posted: September 10, 2002 9:21 pm
by SMLCHNG
LOL @ Dave!! You got that Windex handy?? :D ;)

Posted: September 12, 2002 8:44 am
by PerfectPartner
Too Funny!! I have to pass that along to some friends. :D

Posted: September 13, 2002 12:05 am
by sailingagain
Wow.....I'm a huge STAR WARS fan and that had me laughing my ass off.

NICE!!!!