Some good "one-liners"

[phjrsaunt]

>A Good Pun is Its Own Reward
>
> A backward poet writes inverse
>.
> A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
>
> Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
>
> Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
>
> Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
>
> A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
>
> A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
>
> Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
>
> Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
>
> Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
>
> Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
>
>Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
>
> When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
>
>A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
>
> What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
>
> Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
>
> In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
>
>She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
>
> A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
>
> If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
>
>With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
>
> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A flat
> minor.
>
> When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
>
> The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
>
>A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
> Blownapart.
>
>You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
> Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
>
> He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
>
> Every calendar's days are numbered.
>
>A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
>
> A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
>
> He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
>
> A plateau is a high form of flattery.
>
> The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a medium at
>large.
>
> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
>
>Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
>
> Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
>
> When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought
>she'd dye.
>
> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
>
> Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
> Acupuncture is a jab well done.
>
> Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
>
>The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle
> of himself.
>

[East Texas Parrothead]

OOOOoooooo, Auntie. I love these....am copying and emailing 'em to my coworkers. I needed a laugh today!

[phjrsaunt]

ETP-if you need a giggle, check your email. Trust me!

[sailingagain]

Those are cute.

[CRC Parrothead]

HA!