What your car says about you....
Posted: November 24, 2002 11:19 pm
Acura Integra- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sporrts cars.
Acura Legend- I'm to bland for German cars.
Acura NSX- I am impotent.
Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires.
Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
Caddilac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.
Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp.
Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating the hell out of people.
Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.
Chevrolet Corvette- I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
Chevrolet Suburban- I sell illegal firearms.
Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
Datsun 280Z- I have a kilo of Cocaine in my wheel well.
Dodge Dart- I teach Third Grade Special Education and I voted for Eisenhower.
Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.
Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart).
Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in the school zones.
Ford Crown Victoria- I enjoy having people slow down to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them.
Geo Storm- I will start 11th grade in the fall.
Geo Tracker- I will start 12th grade in the fall.
Honda Del Sol- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.
Honda Civic- I have just graduated and have no credit.
Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse- I do not give a damn about J.D. Power and his reports.
Jaguar XJ6- I am so rich I pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
Kia Sephia- I learned nothing about the failure of Dihatsu Corporation.
Lamborghini Countach- I have only one testicle.
Lincoln Town Car- I live for bingo and TV dinners.
Lamborghini Diablo- If you look at my car I will eat your soul.
Mercury Grand Marquis- (See Lincoln Town Car).
Mercedes-Benz SL500- I will beat you up if you ask for my autograph.
Mercedes-Benz S500- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son names Cole.
Mercedes-Benz S600- I am a drug dealer.
Mazda Miata- I do not fear being decapatated by an eighteen-wheeler.
MGB- I am dating a mechanic.
Mitsubishi Diamante- I don't know what it mean either.
Nissan 300ZX- I have yet to complete my divorce preceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass- I just stole a car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts.
Peugeot 505 Diesel- I'm on the EPA's most wanted list.
Plymouth Neon- I sincerely enjoy the Macarena.
Pontiac Trans Am- I have a Switchblade in my sock.
Porsche 911 Turbo- I have a three inch thingy.
Porsche 944-I am dating a big haired woman who would otherwise would be inaccessible to me.
Saturn SC2- (See Honda Civic).
Subaru Legacy- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than an Isuzu.
Toyota Camry- I am still in the closet.
Volkswagen Beetle- I still watch Partridge Family reruns.
Volkswagen Cabriolet- I am still in the closet.
Volkswagen Microbus- I am tripping right now.
Volvo 740 Wagen- I am frightening of my wife.
Acura Legend- I'm to bland for German cars.
Acura NSX- I am impotent.
Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires.
Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
Caddilac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.
Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp.
Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating the hell out of people.
Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.
Chevrolet Corvette- I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
Chevrolet Suburban- I sell illegal firearms.
Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
Datsun 280Z- I have a kilo of Cocaine in my wheel well.
Dodge Dart- I teach Third Grade Special Education and I voted for Eisenhower.
Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.
Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart).
Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in the school zones.
Ford Crown Victoria- I enjoy having people slow down to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them.
Geo Storm- I will start 11th grade in the fall.
Geo Tracker- I will start 12th grade in the fall.
Honda Del Sol- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.
Honda Civic- I have just graduated and have no credit.
Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse- I do not give a damn about J.D. Power and his reports.
Jaguar XJ6- I am so rich I pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
Kia Sephia- I learned nothing about the failure of Dihatsu Corporation.
Lamborghini Countach- I have only one testicle.
Lincoln Town Car- I live for bingo and TV dinners.
Lamborghini Diablo- If you look at my car I will eat your soul.
Mercury Grand Marquis- (See Lincoln Town Car).
Mercedes-Benz SL500- I will beat you up if you ask for my autograph.
Mercedes-Benz S500- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son names Cole.
Mercedes-Benz S600- I am a drug dealer.
Mazda Miata- I do not fear being decapatated by an eighteen-wheeler.
MGB- I am dating a mechanic.
Mitsubishi Diamante- I don't know what it mean either.
Nissan 300ZX- I have yet to complete my divorce preceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass- I just stole a car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts.
Peugeot 505 Diesel- I'm on the EPA's most wanted list.
Plymouth Neon- I sincerely enjoy the Macarena.
Pontiac Trans Am- I have a Switchblade in my sock.
Porsche 911 Turbo- I have a three inch thingy.
Porsche 944-I am dating a big haired woman who would otherwise would be inaccessible to me.
Saturn SC2- (See Honda Civic).
Subaru Legacy- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than an Isuzu.
Toyota Camry- I am still in the closet.
Volkswagen Beetle- I still watch Partridge Family reruns.
Volkswagen Cabriolet- I am still in the closet.
Volkswagen Microbus- I am tripping right now.
Volvo 740 Wagen- I am frightening of my wife.