Those wacky aircraft mechanics!!!

[Desdamona]

--After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a
gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems
encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics
read and correct the problem, and then respond in
writing on the lower half of the form what
remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the
gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be
said that ground crews and engineers lack
a sense of humor.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and
problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the
solution recorded by maintenance
engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major
airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet
per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

[Sidew13]

ROTFLMAO

[Air M'Ville Cap'n]

I got those in an email not to long ago and its one of the funniest things I've seen. I'm in aircraft maintenance school right now and its true that for the most part, pilots write up everything and the mechanics get tired of it and really do this kinda stuff. My favorite were -


P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.