"Politically Correct" 12 Days of Christmas
Posted: December 13, 2003 8:10 pm
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed
midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a
consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through
ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra
made up of members in good standing of the Musicians
Equity Union as called for in their union contract
even though they will not be asked to play a note),
TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of
the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons
stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected
wetlands,
SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human
animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced
domestic incarceration,
(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to
throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and
partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid
further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has
been revised.)
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,
THREE deconstructionist poets,
TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled
processed tree carcasses and...
ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear
tree.
Merry Christmas Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa. Blessed
Yule. Oh, heck! Happy Holidays!!!!
(unless otherwise prohibited by law) *
*Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonal
Affected Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please
substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with a
suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.
midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a
consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through
ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra
made up of members in good standing of the Musicians
Equity Union as called for in their union contract
even though they will not be asked to play a note),
TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of
the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons
stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected
wetlands,
SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human
animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced
domestic incarceration,
(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to
throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and
partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid
further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has
been revised.)
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,
THREE deconstructionist poets,
TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled
processed tree carcasses and...
ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear
tree.
Merry Christmas Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa. Blessed
Yule. Oh, heck! Happy Holidays!!!!
(unless otherwise prohibited by law) *
*Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonal
Affected Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please
substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with a
suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.
I like that !!