Groan!!

It's okay to Laugh out Loud

Moderator: SMLCHNG

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SMLCHNG
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 178657
Joined: December 6, 2001 7:00 pm
Favorite Buffett Song: Tin Cup Chalice/Lovely Cruise
Number of Concerts: 20
Favorite Boat Drink: Rum Runner
Location: Castle Rock, CO

Groan!!

Post by SMLCHNG »

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your
count that votes.

6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

8. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
minor.

11. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine .

26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought
she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.


No trees were killed in the posting of this message.

However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
Last edited by SMLCHNG on April 21, 2004 10:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
BilltheLizard
Fruitcake
Posts: 954
Joined: March 6, 2004 1:39 pm
Favorite Buffett Song: First Look
Number of Concerts: 6
Favorite Boat Drink: TsingTao
Location: SW Florida

Post by BilltheLizard »

Oh SMLCHNG :roll: how could you? Well at least you titled it correctly.

Okay I did chuckle at #22. :D
I've got coastal confessions and a few more, how about you?
ladyparrothead
Lester Polyester
Posts: 7277
Joined: January 3, 2004 3:23 pm

Post by ladyparrothead »

:o :lol: :o :lol:
Lynn



Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and NEVER regret anything that made you smile.
SMLCHNG
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 178657
Joined: December 6, 2001 7:00 pm
Favorite Buffett Song: Tin Cup Chalice/Lovely Cruise
Number of Concerts: 20
Favorite Boat Drink: Rum Runner
Location: Castle Rock, CO

Post by SMLCHNG »

BilltheLizard wrote:Oh SMLCHNG :roll: how could you? Well at least you titled it correctly.

Okay I did chuckle at #22. :D
How could I? It runs in the family.. my Dad sent me those. ;)
Ilph
Inactive User
Posts: 10333
Joined: June 29, 2003 6:54 pm
Number of Concerts: 0
Location: Edwardsville, IL

Post by Ilph »

:roll: :wink:
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