Being Drunk.....
Posted: August 29, 2004 10:20 pm
Being Drunk is......
1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
2. I believe that dancing with my arms over head and my butt
wiggling while yelling woo-hoo! is truly the sexiest dance
move around.
3. I've suddenly decide I want to kick someone's ass and
honestly believe I could do it, too.
4. In my last trip to "pee" I realized I now look more like
Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm
eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up
and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone
I see that I love
them sooooo much.
7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start
work.
8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting
next to me.
9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a
table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their
own so I keep them half closed and think it looks sexy.
12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at
it.
13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by
giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer
taste the gin.
14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like
the kitchen floor.
15. I start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take
this the wrong way but..."
16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on
it.
17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen
to be standing)and take a quick nap.
19. I begin leaving the button's open on my button fly pants
to cut down on the time I'm in the washroom away from my drink.
20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that
I can't walk straight.
1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
2. I believe that dancing with my arms over head and my butt
wiggling while yelling woo-hoo! is truly the sexiest dance
move around.
3. I've suddenly decide I want to kick someone's ass and
honestly believe I could do it, too.
4. In my last trip to "pee" I realized I now look more like
Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm
eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up
and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone
I see that I love
them sooooo much.
7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start
work.
8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting
next to me.
9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a
table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their
own so I keep them half closed and think it looks sexy.
12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at
it.
13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by
giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer
taste the gin.
14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like
the kitchen floor.
15. I start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take
this the wrong way but..."
16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on
it.
17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen
to be standing)and take a quick nap.
19. I begin leaving the button's open on my button fly pants
to cut down on the time I'm in the washroom away from my drink.
20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that
I can't walk straight.