All further music made redundant by the Strokes
It was announced this week that weekly papery thing with words printed on it, New Musical Express, is to end later this year. The paper has championed NME tours for nearly 50 years.
American boy band The Strokes are being held to blame, and in particular their highly popular album "Is This It?". The newspaper's closure has been anticipated for some time, ever since NME gave the album full marks and awarded it the accolade of Greatest Album of the All Time Forever and Ever Amen. Hailed as the pinnacle of musical achievement, there has been widespread acknowledgement that there is no possibility of anything better ever being produced by the music industry and that it might as well just give up now.
In recent months, music shops up and down the country have been increasingly refusing to stock non-Strokes merchandise, as consumer demand for anything not written by the New York five-piece dwindles. With nothing to aspire to any more, many groups have given up on writing new songs, with many dedicating their spare time to different pursuits such as a game of volleyball with friends perhaps, or maybe completing a particularly tricky jigsaw puzzle.
"We've been trying to put a brave face on it, but the fact remains that we've got no reason to carry on looking for good music," said the editor of NME, Jimmy Cardboard, ""Is This It?" was a landmark album, but in this case a landmark that marked the end of land. Perhaps like a cliff-top. Or the end of a seaside promenade. We have to come to terms with the fact that from now on all new music will just appear dull, shallow, and totally unnecessary."
DJ Otzi was unavailable for comment.
NME To Close Down
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