BuffettNews.com

I dated this girl for 3 dates
she sits me down and says..
"I want to get married, and have kids, to qualify for this
you have to stop going to Rodeos,Ballgames (TV and all)
Movies, you need to stop spending so much times in bars, Playboy had to go.
and you need to stop hunting and sell your guns ."

I got up and checked my wallet and keys she says "what are you doing?"
I says I'm goiing to the store.. We are going to need a lot of condoms
as I will have plenty of time on my hands.

never did find out what she had planned for my free time.
she left and did not call..

ragtopW wrote:I dated this girl for 3 dates
she sits me down and says..
"I want to get married, and have kids, to qualify for this
you have to stop going to Rodeos,Ballgames (TV and all)
Movies, you need to stop spending so much times in bars, Playboy had to go.
and you need to stop hunting and sell your guns ."

I got up and checked my wallet and keys she says "what are you doing?"
I says I'm goiing to the store.. We are going to need a lot of condoms
as I will have plenty of time on my hands.

never did find out what she had planned for my free time.
she left and did not call..

my response to that little tirade would have been a repeat of what I said when the girlfriend of the time said, "I want to be married in 2 years, and having kids in 5, (and I don't care what it takes to make that happen):

"Honey, send me an invite to the wedding. I'll make sure there's a sympathy card in the mailbox every year for the poor dumb S.O.B. that signs on for that trip to Fantasy Island".

Wonder what ever happened to her...

Quint wrote:This one takes me back to H.S. I had been spending alot of time with one chic really trying to get some action. She was one of those high maintence you had to work at it types....So we are driving back to her place and this is the date that is going to get me what Iv worked all summer for. Driving down the road , one last turn to go....and Pwap! I hit a rabbit. It gets caught in the wheelwell and goes around a couple of times making a phwap phwap phawp noise. So what is my first reaction? I laugh my ass off of coarse! It was the funniest sound Iv ever heard.

So needless to say....a summer wasted.

And it wasn't like you asked her to clean it out for you or anything?

RinglingRingling wrote:"Honey, send me an invite to the wedding. I'll make sure there's a sympathy card in the mailbox every year for the poor dumb S.O.B. that signs on for that trip to Fantasy Island".

I don't care who you are, that right there is some seriously funny shiznit!

met my wife as a senior in high school. i've been married to her for 25 years now. she's there when i leave in the morning, there when i get home. we enjoy going out on weekends. i'm never lonely and enjoy her company. she's my best friend and a great mom to our kids. don't miss the dating process at all.

I'm realizing I need to have an application or some type of screening process so that I can weed out the ones that.........

(1) still live at home with mom and dad
(2) haven't had a job in 2 years or have a job that really sucks for anyone
(3) beat up their old girlfriends
(4) have a minimum of 2 DUIs (yes minimum, some have had more)

(and for all of you who know me, know this is true!!!) Isn't that sad??? I just hope those boys don't come find this post and then try to borrow mom's car to come beat me up after a few drinks! LOL (seriously - at least I don't think any of them know I post on here!)

..............Madison has to have more to offer than this............come out, come out wherever you are.........

Coconut Bra wrote:I'm realizing I need to have an application or some type of screening process so that I can weed out the ones that.........
(3) beat up their old girlfriends

I know how you feel...if you ever need someone to talk ot PM me I hope everything in life turns out well for you and you find someone who truly loves you. I know you will! I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way! There are nice men out there somewhere you just have to look real hard, I can lend out my pimps Troy and Tyler if you need them

SweetMelissa wrote:
and if you are married are you glad you don't have to date anymore????

Um....YES!!!!

SweetMelissa wrote:

Coconut Bra wrote:I'm realizing I need to have an application or some type of screening process so that I can weed out the ones that.........
(3) beat up their old girlfriends

I know how you feel...if you ever need someone to talk ot PM me I hope everything in life turns out well for you and you find someone who truly loves you. I know you will! I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way! There are nice men out there somewhere you just have to look real hard, I can lend out my pimps Troy and Tyler if you need them

NOW look if you all use
Troy and Tyler I am out of luck with all
the ladies on the Board.

haha ragtop baby my pimps are missing....maybe we can work something out

Someone told me about this application. I guess I'll fill it out and see what happens.

New Application

Name?__J (Ash in certain parts of the country)_____

Occupation?___CIA VIP and Southern Nevada Connoisseur_______

Are you a Yankees Fan? __What sport do they play again?_____

Will you treat Melissa in such a manner that you will be highly regarded as a Gentleman? _X (a Southern Gentleman of course)_Yes __No (If no stop here)

At what Address can Santa find you if you don’t treat her in a manner that you will be highly regarded as a Gentleman?___I'll be keeping entertainment centers in line everywhere.____________

Where will you take her to dine on your first date____start off with a picnic on the beach, followed by a night of VIP clubbing____

What is the Avg meal price?__I'm a VIP, they never even bring the check out. __________

References_BEGurlMD , CRC, LVC___________________

Hey pimps where are you??? We have a new applicant!

SweetMelissa wrote:haha ragtop baby my pimps are missing....maybe we can work something out

Wayne could offer some protection and security.

Wayne was an applicant... if the pimps are missing he has a shot here

SweetMelissa wrote:Wayne was an applicant... if the pimps are missing he has a shot here

I'd vouch for him. I mean who can offer more than Santa?

Me too. I mean what's not to love about Santa?

land_shark3 wrote:

SweetMelissa wrote:Wayne was an applicant... if the pimps are missing he has a shot here

I'd vouch for him. I mean who can offer more than Santa?

As muscle left in charge we have a WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!
I trust J to be a great date and a better husba.............
RUN J RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

island_hopper wrote:Me too. I mean what's not to love about Santa?

no no husbands here for a loooooooooong time! Wait a minute...J is already engaged!

SweetMelissa wrote:no no husbands here for a loooooooooong time! Wait a minute...J is already engaged!

Just a date???

Stop J Stop!!!!!!