Getting Old

[Ilph]

>They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them
>that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing
>things down to help them remember.
>Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
>His wife asks, "Where are you going?"
>"To the kitchen" he replies.
>"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
>"Sure."
>"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she
>asks.
>"No, I can remember it."
>"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it
>down because you know you'll forget it."
>He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with
>strawberries."
>"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd
>better write it down!" she retorts.
>Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!
>Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got
>it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen.
>After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands
>his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
>She stares at the plate fo! r a moment and says - "Where's my toast?

[Ilph]

>A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It
>cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art It's perfect."
>"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
>"Twelve thirty."

[Ilph]

>Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
>A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
>gorgeous young woman on his arm.
>A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're
>really doing great, aren't you?"
>Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be
>cheerful.'"
>The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur.
>Be careful.'"

[Ilph]

>A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled
>himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he
>ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
>" No," he replied, "arthritis."

[Jason Mason]

[MommaPH]

[tdparrothead]

[unclejohn]

[ragtopW]