Bible Salesmen
Posted: July 25, 2005 2:54 pm
A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial
troubles. Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church storeroom,
he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and
distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the
congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10
each to raise desperately needed money for the church.
Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The reverend knew that Peter and Paul earned their livings as salesmen and
were likely capable of selling some bibles, but he had serious doubts about
Louie who was just a little local farmer who had always tended to keep to
himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.
Poor little Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor
Louis, the reverend decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with
bibles and asked them to meet with him and report the results of their
door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
When they got together, the reverend immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter,
how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "Pastor, using my
sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 collected
on behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Peter!" the reverend said, vigorously shaking his hand.
"You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, he asked "And how many bibles did you manage to sell for
the church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied,"Reverend, I
am a professional salesman and was happy to give the church the benefit of
my expertise. Last week I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and
here's $280 I collected."
The reverend responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a
professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the reverend turned to little Louie and said, "And Louie,
did you manage to sell any bibles last week?"
Louie silently offered the reverend a large envelope. The reverend opened
it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the reverend exclaimed.
"Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles
for the church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louie just nodded.
"That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are
professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as
we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the reverend agreed. "Please explain how you
managed to accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for
sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us
what you said to them when they answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would
y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible
f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just
l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to
y-y-you?"
troubles. Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church storeroom,
he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and
distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the
congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10
each to raise desperately needed money for the church.
Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The reverend knew that Peter and Paul earned their livings as salesmen and
were likely capable of selling some bibles, but he had serious doubts about
Louie who was just a little local farmer who had always tended to keep to
himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.
Poor little Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor
Louis, the reverend decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with
bibles and asked them to meet with him and report the results of their
door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
When they got together, the reverend immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter,
how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "Pastor, using my
sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 collected
on behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Peter!" the reverend said, vigorously shaking his hand.
"You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, he asked "And how many bibles did you manage to sell for
the church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied,"Reverend, I
am a professional salesman and was happy to give the church the benefit of
my expertise. Last week I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and
here's $280 I collected."
The reverend responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a
professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the reverend turned to little Louie and said, "And Louie,
did you manage to sell any bibles last week?"
Louie silently offered the reverend a large envelope. The reverend opened
it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the reverend exclaimed.
"Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles
for the church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louie just nodded.
"That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are
professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as
we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the reverend agreed. "Please explain how you
managed to accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for
sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us
what you said to them when they answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would
y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible
f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just
l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to
y-y-you?"
