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Virgin_(Island)_Girl wrote:What about a woman's personality?

I've never been "drop dead gorgeous", I'm pretty average. I've never been "slim" nor "huge" just average.

But when I was single, I managed to attract men. Not in a "man-magnet" kind of way, but I guess maybe they saw something in my personality????

I don't know. Can't personality be sexy, too?

Great point We have some very very pretty women at work that I could not stand to be around for longer than 3 minutes as they are not very nice

and as well as some that are a treasure to hang out with that are not as picture pretty, but Still and all VERY hot..

well, there is the "Tripod Theory".

For it to work (either gender)

The other person has to be mentally, emotionally/ethically/spiritually, and physically-attractive.

Just mentally, or e/e/s attractive and you have a friendship (perhaps). Physically attractive, perhaps a fling, but it doesn't last long.

Mentally and physically attractive, no e/e/s, you get a longer fling, does not last.
physically and e/e/s attractive but no mental attraction, and you could make it work, there are a lot of marriages where one or the other partner has 40 IQ points on the other, but they work.
e/e/s and mentally attractive, no physical component, and you have a friendship.

You can fake parts of this at times, but I think you need all three to make it to the "Swan Couple" stage.

RinglingRingling wrote:well, there is the "Tripod Theory".

For it to work (either gender)

The other person has to be mentally, emotionally/ethically/spiritually, and physically-attractive.

Just mentally, or e/e/s attractive and you have a friendship (perhaps). Physically attractive, perhaps a fling, but it doesn't last long.

Mentally and physically attractive, no e/e/s, you get a longer fling, does not last.
physically and e/e/s attractive but no mental attraction, and you could make it work, there are a lot of marriages where one or the other partner has 40 IQ points on the other, but they work.
e/e/s and mentally attractive, no physical component, and you have a friendship.

You can fake parts of this at times, but I think you need all three to make it to the "Swan Couple" stage.

Funny thing is that I understand this.

Yeah, an' I like my women just a little on the trashy side,
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick an' er too much rouge,
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused.
An' I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
Trashy Women by Confederate Railroad

BuPHett wrote:Sexy is a mindset..a way a woman carries herself, not what she wears..it doesn't matter if she wears sweats..or a football jersey..or even baggy jeans and a sweatshirt..if she's sexy, she's sexy..just because you dress a woman in something sexy, doesn't make her sexy..

...for what it's worth...

even for your future ex-wife

BuPHett wrote:Sexy is a mindset..a way a woman carries herself, not what she wears..it doesn't matter if she wears sweats..or a football jersey..or even baggy jeans and a sweatshirt..if she's sexy, she's sexy..just because you dress a woman in something sexy, doesn't make her sexy..

...for what it's worth...

ding..... ding...... ding....

BuPHett wrote:Sexy is a mindset..a way a woman carries herself, not what she wears..it doesn't matter if she wears sweats..or a football jersey..or even baggy jeans and a sweatshirt..if she's sexy, she's sexy..just because you dress a woman in something sexy, doesn't make her sexy..

...for what it's worth...

It's worth a LOT, Tim. Phaw and Zero are right.

Still dream of girls er women with braids...

SMLCHNG wrote:

BuPHett wrote:Sexy is a mindset..a way a woman carries herself, not what she wears..it doesn't matter if she wears sweats..or a football jersey..or even baggy jeans and a sweatshirt..if she's sexy, she's sexy..just because you dress a woman in something sexy, doesn't make her sexy..

...for what it's worth...

It's worth a LOT, Tim. Phaw and Zero are right.

Tim's gotten older and wiser...

All of the above!

RinglingRingling wrote:

iuparrothead wrote:

LIPH wrote:

iuparrothead wrote:So... this might be a question for another thread entirely, but...

What keeps dudes from talking to/approaching girls?

I was at a street festival a couple weeks ago and there were tons of hot guys.

What kept you from going over and talking to a hot guy?

Because I shouldn't have to.

I gotta call "BS" on that one. You want the attention, what's to stop you from going over and saying hello? Pride? You want to be treated as an equal, sometimes you gotta do the unexpected.

iuparrothead wrote:Mind you also... a lot of guys aren't interested in a girl that just goes around flinging herself at any hot guy she sees... especially in a huge crowd of people. But when a dude is clearly, turning around and pointing you out to his friends, what keeps him from saying something?

(I may not say something to a guy because I didn't notice him myself, but would be interested in talking to them if I were approached)

RinglingRingling wrote:That is, unless you were afraid of striking out.

Well, duh!

ragtopW wrote:Still dream of girls er women with braids...

Did my braids count the other day floating down the river?

ragtopW wrote:Still dream of girls er women with braids...

Duuuude... you gotta stop watching yer "Heidi, the Poor Little Alpine Shepherdess" DVD....

iuparrothead wrote:

RinglingRingling wrote:

iuparrothead wrote:

LIPH wrote:

iuparrothead wrote:So... this might be a question for another thread entirely, but...

What keeps dudes from talking to/approaching girls?

I was at a street festival a couple weeks ago and there were tons of hot guys.

What kept you from going over and talking to a hot guy?

Because I shouldn't have to.

I gotta call "BS" on that one. You want the attention, what's to stop you from going over and saying hello? Pride? You want to be treated as an equal, sometimes you gotta do the unexpected.

iuparrothead wrote:Mind you also... a lot of guys aren't interested in a girl that just goes around flinging herself at any hot guy she sees... especially in a huge crowd of people. But when a dude is clearly, turning around and pointing you out to his friends, what keeps him from saying something?

(I may not say something to a guy because I didn't notice him myself, but would be interested in talking to them if I were approached)

RinglingRingling wrote:That is, unless you were afraid of striking out.

Well, duh!

welcome to the World of Guys, dear. And like I said early, sometimes a woman is a bit more attractive down the road when she's had a chance to mix a whiff of smoke (from being shot down) with her perfume and powder. One learns more from the occasional failure than constant success.

RinglingRingling wrote:

ragtopW wrote:Still dream of girls er women with braids...

Duuuude... you gotta stop watching yer "Heidi, the Poor Little Alpine Shepherdess" DVD....

keeping my mouth shut here...

SMLCHNG wrote:

BuPHett wrote:Sexy is a mindset..a way a woman carries herself, not what she wears..it doesn't matter if she wears sweats..or a football jersey..or even baggy jeans and a sweatshirt..if she's sexy, she's sexy..just because you dress a woman in something sexy, doesn't make her sexy..

...for what it's worth...

It's worth a LOT, Tim. Phaw and Zero are right.

Thank you Phaw, Tim and Z.....and Penners...It is in the way a woman holds herself and how she feels...It is a combination of so many things...some days you just feel it...and it shows....

sy wrote:

iuparrothead wrote:So... this might be a question for another thread entirely, but...

What keeps dudes from talking to/approaching girls?

I was at a street festival a couple weeks ago and there were tons of hot guys.

Actually, if you think about it, it could be any number of reasons. Just because a couple of guys are there, eyeing up women, doesn't mean they're there to meet them. They could have girlfriends, wives, not want a relationship, etc.

They could also just not care, they're there to have fun with their friends, they'll look, point, etc., but they're not going to bother going over to talk to someone because that's not what they're there for.

Just a thought

Very good point! For the most part, you're right on. But in this particular situation, at a street festival on the north side of Chicago... it's pretty much assured that the overwhelming majority of people at this event were young, single professionals. And it's not like people are standing aroudn staring across a room at each other... it's people moving, walking around, drinking, being social. It just seemed like there was this invisible force that kept dudes from talking to girls that day. It wasn't just me... it was the opinion of lots of girls we talked to as well. Guys would turn and stare (and rarely did you notice it because you were trying to watch where you were stepping) but your friends would see them, especially if they were walking behind you.

I just think it's intriguing that guys will stare, point out and make rather overt gestures, but won't take the initiative to talk to girls. Those dudes are total weiners in my book.

So there's some kind of girl code that says you can't talk to guys unless they talk to you first? What a load of crap.

I still like my answer to Ann's question...

CaptainP wrote:I still like my answer to Ann's question...

and the situation hasn't changed, has it?