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God Calls on Pat Robertson to Kill Pat Robertson

VIRGINIA BEACH, Virginia — In the wake of Pat Robertson’s appeal for the Bush administration to “take out” Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez, God has voiced a plea to Pat Robertson to kill Pat Robertson.

“That’s it,” said the Almighty to Robertson during taping of Robertson’s The 700 Club. “I know I’m all-forgiving and all, but I can’t hack any more of this. It’s Venezuela, for Chrissake! As in South-freaking-America. When has anyone from South America been a threat? Argentina invading the Falklands? Please! They had, like, one boat and some surplus Russian smoke bombs. You need to seriously think about checking yourself into the hereafter, bub.”

Although the State Department has disavowed Robertson’s plea for Chavez’s assassination, it remains unclear whether the Christian broadcaster will respect God the Father’s request. Robertson reportedly is still irritated with God because the Heavenly Father “didn’t clear out some space on the Supreme Court two years ago like I asked him to. Heck, we had a couple hundred thousand viewers praying and sending in money like crazy on that one. Made me look kinda silly.”

Yesterday, Robertson also made a plea to the Bush Administration to take out fellow televangelist, Reverend Jerry Falwell.
“He needs to go,” said Robertson. “Anybody that thinks the Antichrist is a Jewish male is insane. The Antichrist is a Mariachi trumpet player in Chihuahua. God will not be mocked!”

And sonofabeach said Bush was a fiddle player in the band on the Titanic.

you should see that place of his

it's one huge campus






ridiculous IMO

tikitatas wrote:And sonofabeach said Bush was a fiddle player in the band on the Titanic.

Not I, but I did think that was pretty funny

Maybe G`D will give Oral Roberts 8 MIL. to hire a hitman for all them
ol'boys









Oral I'm in Idaho I need the money in unmarked 20s

Robertson Apologizes for Chavez Remarks

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (AP) -- Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson apologized Wednesday for calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, only hours after he denied saying Chavez should be killed.

"Is it right to call for assassination?" Robertson said. "No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him."

Chavez, whose country is the world's fifth-largest oil exporter, has emerged as one of the most outspoken critics of President Bush. He accuses the United States of conspiring to topple his government and possibly backing plots to assassinate him. U.S. officials have called the accusations ridiculous.

On Monday's telecast of his Christian Broadcasting Network show "The 700 Club," Robertson had said: "You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don't think any oil shipments will stop."

He continued: "We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

On Wednesday, he initially denied having called for Chavez to be killed and said The Associated Press had misinterpreted his remarks.

"I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out,'" Robertson said on his show. "'Take him out' could be a number of things including kidnapping."

He later issued the apology on his Web site.

When the AP had called Robertson on Tuesday for elaboration, spokeswoman Angell Watts said Robertson would not do interviews and had no statement about his remarks. He also declined several interview requests Wednesday.,

On Tuesday, the State Department called Robertson's remarks "inappropriate."