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aquaholic wrote:me and FM are glad to see she is doing better....if u get a layover in the ATL give us a call...buy ya a brew

I appreciate that Jim, but United has me going through Chicago. Not my first choice, but it was $300 cheaper than anything else at the time...

Mom is doing better now. She still can't eat anything, but the tube has helped her sustain her weight. She has one more week of daily radiation and two more weekly treatments of chemo. I'm trying to decide whether to stay for that or go home on Sunday as planned...

I'm sure she's uncomfortable w/ the tube and radiation, but definitely glad to hear Mom is doing better. Continued phin power to Mom.
Your pal,
Auntie

((((((((Mom and Bill)))))))) I'm sure it does a world of good to you both to be able to hug through this.

Keeping good thoughts and prayers heading your way.

again...

Phins from Canada...

thanks for the report Bill. It sounds like she's hanging in there.....you and your family are in my thoughts......

<<<<<HOOSIER PHIN POWER>>>>>

((((Bill's Mom, Bill and Family))))
More good thoughts heading your way.

aquaholic wrote:me and FM are glad to see she is doing better....if u get a layover in the ATL give us a call...buy ya a brew

Ditto from Nicole and I

((Bill and Mom and Family))

Gulfbreeze wrote:More ((P))((H))((I))((N)) ((P))((O))((W))((E))((R))

Coming from the Gulf Coast

Ditto that.... the "other" west coast is keeping you and your mom in our hearts!

I really need some advice...my mom is still smoking and I don't know what to do. I caught her "sneaking a puff" last week, so I dragged her to a quit-smoking seminar on NYE day. I thought I smelled smoke at times over the last couple of days, but I couldn't catch her so I thought maybe it was just me - until I caught her again tonight.

So here I am putting my life on hold trying to help her, and from what I can tell she's not doing her part. I've already decided to go home this weekend instead of extending my stay.

Any advice on how I should handle this?

I don't know what to tell you, Bill.
We have been lucky--no one smokes in my immediate family.

You might tell you Mom what you said here---you are doing everything you can for her....now it's time for her to make some changes.

Good luck, Bill.

Four Play wrote:I really need some advice...my mom is still smoking and I don't know what to do. I caught her "sneaking a puff" last week, so I dragged her to a quit-smoking seminar on NYE day. I thought I smelled smoke at times over the last couple of days, but I couldn't catch her so I thought maybe it was just me - until I caught her again tonight.

So here I am putting my life on hold trying to help her, and from what I can tell she's not doing her part. I've already decided to go home this weekend instead of extending my stay.

Any advice on how I should handle this?

Bill, this is such a difficult situation. I'm not sure I have advice, but I can at least share with you a similar situation.

A little over 8 years ago, my mom suffered cardiac arrest on a city bus outside the Coors Field baseball stadium. Thanks to two people on the bus that knew CPR, bicycle paramedics with a defibrilator, and an awesome ambulance and trauma center, my mom lived. Her heart stopped twice that day. She spent 10 days in the cardiac intensive care unit. When they tried to move her to the regular ward of the hospital (i.e. not attached to machines) she snuck out for cigarettes. She has been a 2+ pack a day smoker for as long as I remember. She's 60 now (but looks 75 YIKES). She has tried every way imaginable to quit smoking and has given up every time. She's hid smoking from my step dad at times (including after she left the hospital). When she was diagnosed with bladder cancer 5 years ago, she had it removed along with many other lower abdominal organs. As soon as she could get out of bed she was out smoking again and continues to this day.

She had all the support in the world and I think for a long time in her heart she really wanted to quit but became more and more depressed (also a problem for my mom) every time she would fail.

I guess what I'm really trying to say, Bill, is I'm not sure there is much you can do. Her smoking is what caused the sickness she had, and no matter how much chemo or how many radiation treatments she has, continuing to smoke will not help her in any way (ok, this is pot calling kettle black because I smoke too). Heck, hubby and I met because we were both smokers and had to go outside with "the others" to smoke at work.

The hard thing to grasp about smoking, is that cigarettes are like a best friend. They are always there for you no matter what. It's really, really hard to give up that relationship and it's really scary to imagine going through life without that "friend" that has been there for you through thick and thin. Even though it seems crazy to you, smoking is helping (or so she thinks) her cope (not that it's a good thing).

I can see how it is frustrating for you to try and support her through this life-threatening illness when she is not doing as much as you think she should to help herself. It's hard to imagine a person not doing everything humanly possible to overcome cancer and WANT to live. Unfortunately, the addiction to cigarettes is obviously more controlling than the desire you perceive she has to get better.

All in all, though, if I had the chance to be there for my mom when she had cancer, I would have been there. Smoking or not, you never know what might happen and I would want to put in as much time as I was able.

Mal pretty much wrapped it up...

It's a tough, tough addiction to give up regardless of one's current condition. I've experienced similar situations with friends and family over the years...and while not pleasant, there's really not much one can do to force behavior changes if one doesn't want to make them themselves...

We'll all pray for your mother...and for you Bill...

Oh, Bill. We're so sorry for your heartache.

My mother smoked three packs a day. She finally gave it up -- not for her health -- but for her vanity. She wanted a face lift and the doctor wouldn't touch her until she had been "smoke free" for six months.

She put them down 9 years ago, but she didn't put them down because we wanted her to. She put them down when SHE wanted to.

((((Bill and mom))))

I hope your mom WANTS to quit soon.

You're in our prayers.

many thoughts and prayers coming to you and your Mom . . .

please let her know there are many here that would like to be her friend thru this . . .

Aw Bill, how tough for you and your mom; her smoking must be so frustrating and heartbreaking. I'm glad she's doing better with the treatments, though. The only thing I can think of is for you to ask her if there is anything else you can do to help her quit.

I wish you and your mom all the best. (((Bill and Mom)))

It is a tough situation. I think we all know here that someone can't be helped until they want help themselves. Smoking is a tough addiction to quit. I know first hand. But you have to be ready to quit yourself no matter what anyone says.

My suggestion is to just be there for your mom however you can. Let her know that you love her...she's your mom. You don't agree with her decision but you still love her and will do what you can to help her and support her. It is ultimately her decision and no one can make it for her.

We can all pray for her and send her phin power.....I hope the situation gets better for all of you.....

((((BILL & HIS MOM))))

This goes to show how truly addicting smoking is.


Have her doctors or the hospital offered her any counseling regarding her cancer and what might happen if she continues to smoke? It might be worth looking into. She might need a more intensive program at this point...her docs should be able to help in that area as well.

I had a friend who quit smoking through hypnosis and swears by it. The hypnotist replaced the need to have something in his hands/need to smoke with a bottle of water...so he replaced a bad habit with a good one.

I guess all you can really do at this point is follow your heart....let her know your feelings and that you will be there to help when she's ready to quit. I understand your frustration and I'm truly sorry. (((((((Bill)))))))

I can't add anything to all the good words that others have said, Bill. Just know you and you mom are in our thoughts.. ((((Bill & Mom))))