Y'allbonics

[SeattleParrotHead]

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollars in the pipeline through Washington, designating Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.

The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:


HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) -- a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

SEED - (verb) -- past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

[balcony girls]

hey. . ! !

you left out . .arn . .

ARN. . .

" dadgummit. . gotta arn my work clothes for tomarra . ."

[thegoatgod]

hey. . ! !

you left out . .arn . .

ARN. . .

" dadgummit. . gotta arn my work clothes for tomarra . ."

3

whalez izben thankin it but nows i no that yous be ignert bg


theres my promise

[UAHparrothead]

wid-ja-did-ja

"You didn't bring your truck wid-ja-did-ja"

aight

"I am going to take the truck over there, aight."

usetacould

"We usetacould go over to the drive in, but it closed."

overair

"Hey Bubba, hand me that wrench overair"

[balcony girls]

hey. . ! !

you left out . .arn . .

ARN. . .

" dadgummit. . gotta arn my work clothes for tomarra . ."

3

whalez izben thankin it but nows i no that yous be ignert bg


theres my promise

naw. . the challenge was to " hang me up " . .

that didn't even phase me . . .



try again. . .rookie . . .

[ragtopW]

ya all missed one

MAshed Usage " I Gone done mashed the button on the channel clicker"

[SMLCHNG]

[SchoolGirlHeart]

OMG.............

I *DID* live in the south for a long time......

I GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!

[jimolliemom]

Now...I see NO humor in this. Have you ever HEARD me talk???? And I got lots of "raisin". I like to think of it more in terms of a Southern Belle accent. Not a hick! I don't even OWN a pair of Daisy Dukes...well, not anymore! I had someone (from the North) tell me once I sounded like Scarlette O'Hara. Okay, yeah, right, whatever!

[Ilph]