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The coping with your team losing thread got me thinking...

OMG. Victoria had never played a team sport up until this year and HOLY COW is it hard to be the parent in the stands!! There's a whole side of me I didn't know existed. It's a lot easier to cheer her on when she's on stage performing than it is to see her compete in that type of setting.

There's the referees and the coaches and the other players and AAAACKKKK!!!!!!!! There's times I get so frustrated but just squeeze hubby's hands for fear of being "that parent" at her basketball games.

How do other parents handle keets and sports?

Any refs or coaches out there with some perspective as well?

It's not like I'm close to going hockey-dad on anyone, but I never thought I'd feel so heated inside over 8 year olds shooting hoops--I'm a little surprised and dismayed with myself!

Win or lose (more often than not), I always am supportive of my daughter (who I really don't think likes BBall too much anyway and is counting the days to volleyball season!).

My kids love sports and I too have to bite my _________ to keep from saying all the things I want too.

My biggest problem is just getting the best out of my oldest daughter. She is a better driveway or practice player than game player. She has more skill than most of her team but doesn't yet know how to channel her nervousness (a problem I had in sprots) and makes the same mistakes or freezes up. Poor kid. Wish I knew how to handle that better

Victoria never played sports until this year and we told her to pick a team sport so she could at least get an idea of what it was like to succeed and fail as part of a team.

Considering she had NEVER so much as bounced a basketball before December, she has made a 100% improvement. She's making plays during the game and starting to understand the strategy.

The hardest part for her is realizing she can be aggressive (like she is when she wrestles with daddy).

I don't know that Victoria LOVES sports, and this BBall season has been incredibly tough since they only have 2 wins, and one of those was a forfeit (and the other we had a family commitment and Victoria didn't play).

They have come real close the last 2 weeks though, and she's had shots in each of those games.

Cubbie Bear wrote:My kids love sports and I too have to bite my _________ to keep from saying all the things I want too.

My biggest problem is just getting the best out of my oldest daughter. She is a better driveway or practice player than game player. She has more skill than most of her team but doesn't yet know how to channel her nervousness (a problem I had in sprots) and makes the same mistakes or freezes up. Poor kid. Wish I knew how to handle that better

Sounds like she may have a future in coaching!

And she'll get there. I think athletes have a time and place where things just "click". Her day will come.

I don't have kids , so relating to watching my son/daughter i can't do......but going to a events where my niece or nephew plays.......it's amazing how many parents think they can coach and this kid shouldn't be playing my son/daughter is the best on the team and should be playing.....it gets to be so political.....when i played sports my father was vocal...but it was toward us,,,,god it drove me nuts.....i have to laugh now.

I didn't have that problem when I was younger. My mother would never come to any of my football games because she was afraid I'd get hurt and my father had a tough time getting Saturdays off so most of the time neither one of them was at any of my games. And nobody watches high school track meets.

tequilatom wrote:I don't have kids , so relating to watching my son/daughter i can't do......but going to a events where my niece or nephew plays.......it's amazing how many parents think they can coach and this kid shouldn't be playing my son/daughter is the best on the team and should be playing.....it gets to be so political.....when i played sports my father was vocal...but it was toward us,,,,god it drove me nuts.....i have to laugh now.

haha! it was very different when i watched my nieces play soccer vs. my own daughter on the court. my parents were never "that parent" when i played sports when i was young, which is why i'm so surprised i feel so tense watching them play!

i think mostly it's the mom in me who wants to see my daughter succeed (win) instead of fail (lose)...which may or may not truly be the case. if anything, she walks away this season with a greater understanding of the sport and greater fitness for staying so active.

the coach is really good about equal playing time for all in these formative seasons to prepare them for the JV/Varsity world in 5th-8th grade, where playing time is not equal for all players.

the one parent on my daughter's team who was kinda borderline "that parent" for the first two games has really chilled as the season has unfolded. his daughter is very gifted athletically and he's the coach of the main catholic prep HS football team.

I quietly watch and then cheer for goals, shots, whatever it may be. If I feel like saying something, I look at some of the other parents making fools of themselves and humiliating their children. Yes, coaches and refs sometimes make bad calls, but they are human, too. Last year, a parent was yelling at their child while he was playing soccer (do better, etc.) and yelling at the coaches for taking out/putting in. A ref said something to him and he started threatening the ref. The ref had him removed from the building. That was 4 YEAR OLDS SOCCER!!! They are children!

My daughter is a cheerleader at the Middle School level and they go to competitions and that's not so bad. They get scored based on performance with score sheets that tell you everything they did right and what they did wrong. (They actually won the Middle School Division Championship last year in Atlanta, GA. but I'm not bragging or anything ). BUT, they do cheer for the football games and the basketball games and one time I was sitting in the stands and a parent of the other team starting talking about our girls (being fat, etc.) and I thought I was going to go off on her. I was seeing red and I'm not even a fighting kind of person. (Actually, I've never been in a fight, unless fighting with your sister counts). If the Principal of our school hadn't been sitting right behind me, I would have said something for sure.

buffettbride wrote:

tequilatom wrote:I don't have kids , so relating to watching my son/daughter i can't do......but going to a events where my niece or nephew plays.......it's amazing how many parents think they can coach and this kid shouldn't be playing my son/daughter is the best on the team and should be playing.....it gets to be so political.....when i played sports my father was vocal...but it was toward us,,,,god it drove me nuts.....i have to laugh now.

haha! it was very different when i watched my nieces play soccer vs. my own daughter on the court. my parents were never "that parent" when i played sports when i was young, which is why i'm so surprised i feel so tense watching them play!

i think mostly it's the mom in me who wants to see my daughter succeed (win) instead of fail (lose)...which may or may not truly be the case. if anything, she walks away this season with a greater understanding of the sport and greater fitness for staying so active.

the coach is really good about equal playing time for all in these formative seasons to prepare them for the JV/Varsity world in 5th-8th grade, where playing time is not equal for all players.

the one parent on my daughter's team who was kinda borderline "that parent" for the first two games has really chilled as the season has unfolded. his daughter is very gifted athletically and he's the coach of the main catholic prep HS football team.

in baseball....our team was bad.......so it wasn't about winning or losing....just keeping the game respectable........my senior year we made it to the state tournament........my brother who was 2 years behind me...his team won the states........and my younger brother made it to the finals but lost....But our team was so political...Parents were paying the coach off to play there son.....so the best team wasn't on the field.....i got caught in that with a player that played my position.....i was lucky enough to play multiple positions though.......Basketball we were very good....except when we had to play the city schools....no politics there......the coach was a old school tough sob!!

I don't have kids either, although I can't count the number of times I've seen my 2 brothers or sister's games/races. I'm fine there though.

The kicker is when I'm coaching. I get ridiculously nervous. Did I boat the crew with the right lineup? Was yesterday's practice too hard/easy? Is (insert kids name here) really going to do what we worked on all week? I pace. I don't talk to people. I busy myself by working on boats or lock myself in the office until race time. The bigger the race, the worse I get. Did I check the rigging? Did they have enough warm up time, but not too much since the weather is kind of crappy? Who is in Lane 4? Oh jeez.

More often than not, I'm pleased with the result, and more often than not, I worry for no reason as the boys are more than prepared and their racing reflects that. But wow do I hate the 45 minutes before a race, probably more than they do, since they can occupy their time, and I have NO control over what they're about to do.

Dave has joined an over 40 softball league.... after not picking up a softball since college days..... He is pitching..... They got creamed the first game and last week they won by 11 runs.... I wasnt sure what the proper etiquitte was.... so I watched others... some gals sit and talk and don't watch the game.... others are loud and screaming their heads of when their man does something good...

I have taken a place somewhere in the middle.... and so far havent cause him any embarrassment....

This is new territory for me... as my keet was in activities not real condusive to sideline screaming... gymnastics, dance, theatre and scouts....

I try not to be vocal. I tend to only get vocal (towards my own keet) when he's not paying attention or not trying, and even then, I try to encourage without sounding angry

I try to remember that he's there, first and foremost, to have FUN, not win, or be the team MVP or whatever. If he's having fun, they could lose every game and the season would be successful. Of course having fun gets harder when more emphasis gets put on winning (he's only 7), but to see him happy makes me happy.

Both of my kids play sports, daughter age 14-lacrosse and is a varsity diver, Son age 10- plays Pop Warner football and YBA basketball as well as plays on his middle school basketball and soccer teams. I have coached several of his YBA teams. What i've found is that you have to root for the team first, cheer all the players not just your kid. Learn the names of the other players and yell for them and then when you yell for your kid it balances out.
I actually started coaching when my son was 6 and was on a YMCA team, I took him to the 1st practice and the coach was so blatently favoring his own kid that I asked if I could help coach just to balance his favoritism. Four years later he still thinks his son walks on water and constantly compares him to other kids on the teams, his son is a good BB player but not very good in FB, my son is OK at BB and very good at Football but that doesn't stop this guy.

I'm dreading when Delaney gets old enough to play sports. I know I can't behave when I play sports (Baseball and Hockey) so I can only imagine my behavior when it's her out there. I'm planning on bringing a pencil to chew on for her games.

windknot wrote:Both of my kids play sports, daughter age 14-lacrosse and is a varsity diver, Son age 10- plays Pop Warner football and YBA basketball as well as plays on his middle school basketball and soccer teams. I have coached several of his YBA teams. What i've found is that you have to root for the team first, cheer all the players not just your kid. Learn the names of the other players and yell for them and then when you yell for your kid it balances out.
I actually started coaching when my son was 6 and was on a YMCA team, I took him to the 1st practice and the coach was so blatently favoring his own kid that I asked if I could help coach just to balance his favoritism. Four years later he still thinks his son walks on water and constantly compares him to other kids on the teams, his son is a good BB player but not very good in FB, my son is OK at BB and very good at Football but that doesn't stop this guy.

That sucks. I've coached both of my brothers, both of whom are very good. However, I will be the first one to tell them that they need to step it up and do something to stay in the boat. I'm always careful of how my relationship with my family and brothers' friends are perceived at the boathouse and I always make it clear that I am a coach like any other there. Everyone has been good at respecting and understanding that distinction.

Yeah, the very 1st practice started out like this- "Ok all of you watch Mason and try to do what he does" the practice ended this way- coach holding a worn out basketball "do you all see how worn out this ball is?" "if you practice as hard as Mason and wear a ball out like this then someday you might be as good as Mason" . That was when I stepped in and volunteered to coach the rest of the team since "Mason" was his only priorty.

ToplessRideFL wrote:Dave has joined an over 40 softball league.... after not picking up a softball since college days.....

The only concession I made to age was moving from centerfield to left field. The way I look at it, it doesn't matter how old the other players are. If I can't play up to the standard I set for myself, I don't belong on the field.

We are SO the sports family. James played softball and flag football and now Jim plays high school football. He also played t-ball and flag football as a littler boy. Mollie cheers for Pop Warner. having said all that, I work concession. It's the only way I can controll myself and not knock someones head off. I've heard the RUDEST things out of adults mouths about MY kid! Hubby now sits in the stands and ring that COW BELL!! AAACCCKKK!!!!! I also get the "Oh, that cow bell man is YOURS"...to which I smile and say "Yes, he is. And so is number 55!" GO PATRIOTS!

And he had an undefeated year!!!!

Mollie, I just practice with her and cheer with the best of them!

jimolliemom wrote:Hubby now sits in the stands and ring that COW BELL!!

We need more cow bell