Jimmy Buffett's Rules for Living

theschnauze · Post by **theschnauze** » January 26, 2006 6:16 pm

Hey, I was wondering if anyone could post these. I know that #2 for sure was mentioned in A Pirate Looks At Fifty, but I cant find it anywhere. It would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Elrod · Post by **Elrod** » January 26, 2006 6:53 pm

1-6 are from A Pirate Looks At Fifty. The rest are from songs, books and other sources (not all Buffett-related).

1. Never forget, They are always the enemy.
2. Just remember, assholes were born that way and they usually don’t change.
3. You do not want to go to jail.
4. When you start to take yourself seriously, you are in big trouble.
5. It takes no longer to see the good side of life than it does to see the bad.
6. If you plan on running with the ball, count on fumbling and getting the s*** kicked out of you. But never forget how much fun it is just to run with the ball.
7. Think on your feet or die on your ass.
8. An indictment is not a conviction.
9. It is better to be judged by twelve than carried by six.
10. Pink is good, blue is bad, air should go in and out.
11. If you drop the baby, pick it up.
12. All bleeding eventually stops.
12a. Do not be superstitious about silly things like unlucky numbers.
14. All fires eventually go out.
15. Fire trucks should be red.
16. The only way two people can keep a secret is if one of them is dead.
17. If you arrive at an accident scene after midnight and do not find a drunk, keep looking, somebody is missing.
18. If your job depends on sick and stupid, don’t worry about the shortage of sick people, there is enough stupid to keep us all busy.
19. You can’t fix stupid.
20. When you figure out that you don’t need to have it all figured out, then you’re finally getting your s*** together.
21. Want what you have.
22. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it
23. It’s what you learn after you know it all that really counts.
24. Never come up faster than your bubbles.
25. If you see a black hole surrounded by teeth, forget about the bubbles.
26. The more we learn, the less we know.
27. It’s not bragging if you really are as good as you say you are.
28. I’d rather die while I’m living than live while I’m dead.
29. If we weren’t all crazy, we would go insane.
30. Arguing with your in-laws is like wrestling with a pig, you get s*** on your good clothes and the pig likes it.
31. You and I are only two people in the world that aren’t crazy, and I’m beginning to wonder about you.
32. Never give up on anyone, miracles happen every day.
33. Lust for the future, treasure the past.
34. The wrong thing is the right thing until you lose control.
35. If I have to explain it to you, you probably wouldn’t understand it anyway.
36. Say what you mean, mean what you say.
37. Don’t let your ego write checks your body can’t cash.
38. Never purchase used parachute equipment from a widow.
39. Every stop is a place to start.
40. Be good and you will be lonesome.
41. My life is all I’ve got to lose.
42. Live a lie and you will live to regret it.
43. Whatever it is, if somebody can take it away from you, it’s probably not worth having.
44. If you try to be to sharp, you’ll cut yourself.
45. If you don’t have time to do it right, you don’t have time to do it again.
46. If you are treading on thin ice, you may as well dance.
47. If it’s stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid.
48. Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.
49. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
50. Don’t try to describe the ocean if you’ve never seen it.
51. The older I get the smarter my parents are.
52. We are the people our parents warned us about.

theschnauze · Post by **theschnauze** » January 26, 2006 7:26 pm

Thank you!

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » January 26, 2006 11:09 pm

thanks E I had forgoten some of those..

Wino you know · Post by **Wino you know** » January 27, 2006 2:05 am

#53:
Never buy a Rolex watch from a man who is out of breath.

#54:
If you loan someone $50.00, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

BTW-
I think about #9 every day when I go to work.

Sidew13 · Post by **Sidew13** » January 27, 2006 5:04 am

Elrod wrote:12. All bleeding eventually stops.
12a. Do not be superstitious about silly things like unlucky numbers.

Calypso Poet 99 · Post by **Calypso Poet 99** » January 27, 2006 10:22 am

17. If you arrive at an accident scene after midnight and do not find a drunk, keep looking, somebody is missing.

how true

Caribbean Soul Man · Post by **Caribbean Soul Man** » January 27, 2006 10:37 am

9. It is better to be judged by twelve than carried by six.

definitely words to live by

30. Arguing with your in-laws is like wrestling with a pig, you get s*** on your good clothes and the pig likes it.

sonofabeach · Post by **sonofabeach** » January 27, 2006 6:37 pm

Leap and the net will appear

f2cdlzrd · Post by **f2cdlzrd** » January 28, 2006 2:26 pm

I shared the following last night with my basketball girls (9-10 grade). They loved it. I told them if they did not remember any basketball this year, they would leave my team with an understanding of my love for Jimmy Buffett and how fun it was being a Parrothead.....minus the drinking of course.

6. If you plan on running with the ball, count on fumbling and getting the s*** kicked out of you. But never forget how much fun it is just to run with the ball.
7. Think on your feet or die on your ass.

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » January 28, 2006 2:40 pm

Caribbean Soul Man wrote:9. It is better to be judged by twelve than carried by six.

definitely words to live by

30. Arguing with your in-laws is like wrestling with a pig, you get s*** on your good clothes and the pig likes it.

In a moment of pure stupid I once told my Ex wife
(during an argument)

" I am tired of Arguing about stupid things like your Family"

Captain Joe · Post by **Captain Joe** » January 28, 2006 6:18 pm

Here is a few favorites I've wrote down during 15 years at sea....most from books, songs and mid-watch conversations.

1. LEARN TO BE STILL.

2. EVERYONE HAS AN AGENDA.

3. MEET THE NEW BOSS, SAME AS THE OLD BOSS.

4. THE DREAM OF EVERY MAN IS TO KNOW HOW FREEDOM FELLS.

5. THAT WHICH IS DONE OUT OF LOVE ALWAYS TAKES PLACE BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL.

6. WHEN YOU GAZE INTO THE ABYSS THE ABYSS ALSO GAZES INTO YOU.

7. IT IS DREADFUL TO DIE OF THIRST IN THE SEA. DO YOU SALT YOUR TRUTH.

10. ONE IS PUNISHED MOST FOR HIS VIRTUES.

11. Peanutbutter is fine, until you've tasted steak.

12. THE ONLY QUESTION WORTH ASKING; ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE FREE.

12a. JUST PLAY THE GIG, DON'T GET INVOLVED IN THE POLITICS

14. WHEN THINGS ARE AT THERE WORST, IT'S A BRAVE MAN THAT CAN PARTY.

15. Go big or go home. Surfing wisdom.

16. If you figure out, that you don't need to figure. Then your finally getting your sh#t together.

bravedave · Post by **bravedave** » January 28, 2006 9:06 pm

Say what you mean. Mean what you say.

(Easy for him. He's a writer and composer who can express himself in three/four languages and 3/4 time. Some of us fumble with English as a first language.)

pirate@43 · Post by **pirate@43** » January 28, 2006 11:40 pm

As long as we're adding to it
http://www.generationterrorists.com/quo ... creen.html

HTparrothead · Post by **HTparrothead** » January 30, 2006 2:46 pm

# 28 - "I'd rather die while I'm Living than live while I'm dead" is making me crazy... what song is that from?

purpleskye · Post by **purpleskye** » January 30, 2006 2:55 pm

HTparrothead wrote:# 28 - "I'd rather die while I'm Living than live while I'm dead" is making me crazy... what song is that from?

"Growing Older But Not Up"

GREAT SONG

HTparrothead · Post by **HTparrothead** » January 30, 2006 2:56 pm

That's it ! thanks