BuffettNews.com

Posted By aleman
A woman was looking for an unusual pet for her husband's birthday. The shop owner showed her a parrot priced at $500. When asked why so much he told the woman that the parrot could engage in oral sex. The woman not fond of her husband's continual requests for a bj, took the parrot home and told her husband of the parrot's talents. Everyone went to bed happy. About 3:30 in the morning, the woman awoke to the sounds of pots and pans banging in the kitchen. She went down and asked her husband what was going on. He said " If I can teach this parrot to cook, you're outta here."

Posted By Smiley in Orlando
A man walked into a pet store looking to buy a parrot. He was greeted by the owner of the pet store and upon making his wishes known, was taken to the corner where a beautiful parrot was perched. He had a shiny brass nameplate stating that his name was CHET.
The owner told the man that CHET was a very special parrot because he could sing Christmas carols. The man asked for a sample of CHETS singing talents.
The owner proceeded to light a match and held it gently under CHETS left wing. CHET began to sing
Silent Night....Holy Night.
The man was amazed.
The owner lit another match and held it gently under CHETS right wing. CHET softly sang O Little Town of Bethlehem....
The man was astounded. He asked to hear one more.
The owner lit one more match and this time held it gently under CHETS tail. He began to sing
CHETS NUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE.....