Religion and bears
Posted: April 18, 2006 9:48 am
A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains
to the students of the University of Georgia in Athens.
They would get together two or three times a week at the Varsity for
coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't
really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They
would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to
convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the "experience".
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has
various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods
to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from
the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began
to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him
and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop
is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm
and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and
brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle.. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the time praising Jesus."
They had met in the Rabbi's intensive care room. They both looked
down at the rabbi. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. Rabbi Goldberg looks up and struggles to speak to the others. "Looking back on it,
circumcision may not have been the best way to start things out......
to the students of the University of Georgia in Athens.
They would get together two or three times a week at the Varsity for
coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't
really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They
would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to
convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the "experience".
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has
various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods
to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from
the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began
to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him
and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop
is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm
and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and
brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle.. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the time praising Jesus."
They had met in the Rabbi's intensive care room. They both looked
down at the rabbi. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. Rabbi Goldberg looks up and struggles to speak to the others. "Looking back on it,
circumcision may not have been the best way to start things out......
