When it's hot in Texas - you gotta keep a sense of humor about it.
Texas Heat
May 30th--- Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny
days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What
a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was
beautiful. I've finally found my home I love it here.
June 14th--- Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in
an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to
see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshiper.
June 30th--- Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of
cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th--- The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people
get used to this kind of heat? At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to
it is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th--- Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my
body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my
lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th--- I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen
up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth of
leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like
Kibbles and *beep*. No more pets in this heat!
July 25th--- Dry heat, my *beep*. Hot is hot!! The home air-conditioner is on
the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he
needed to order parts.
July 30th--- Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,100
in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come
here?
Aug 4th--- 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It
cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid repairman
*beep* in my pool. I hate this state.
Aug 8th--- If another wise *beep* asks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going
to tear his throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator
is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted
Garfield!!
Aug 10th--- The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and
Sunny. It's been too hot for two damn months and the weatherman says it
might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn
desert?? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of
cactus just dried up and blew into the pool. Even a cactus can't live in
this heat.
Aug 14th--- Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to
crack the window and blew the windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer
came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" wife had to spend the
$1,100 house payment to bail me out of jail.
Aug 30th--- Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the house. The
monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell.
The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500
windshield. That does it, we're moving to New York for some peace and
quiet.
Be careful what you wish for..
"While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats." Mark Twain