COPS COMMENTS

[Tully's Twin]

The following 15 police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country.
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh. Did I mention that I am
the shift supervisor?"
# 9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
# 8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
# 7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."
# 6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
# 5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
# 4 "Just how big were those two beers?"
# 3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
# 2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post bail."
# 1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?... You're right, we don't. ... Sign here.

[pbans]

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh. Did I mention that I am
the shift supervisor?"

I actually used that one "back in the day" and it was generally followed with STFU.....

[Tropic_Al]

my favorite is, "No Sir, we don't have a quota. We don't have to stop at any arbitrary number set by our superiors. And to answer your second question, no. I don't have anything better to do right now."

[ragtopW]

[Wino you know]

# 6 and # 12 are my favorites.

[OPHarbor]

#1, #14 and I think Someone used #4 on ME before