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TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...

Posted: November 18, 2006 12:50 pm
by ragtopW
10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

Posted: November 18, 2006 1:11 pm
by RinglingRingling
This looks infected, can I get a "laying on of hands" for this?

Re: TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...

Posted: November 18, 2006 1:13 pm
by ragtopW
ragtopW wrote:10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
I thought an unnamed BNer would like number 2

Re: TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...

Posted: November 18, 2006 1:21 pm
by UAHparrothead
ragtopW wrote:
ragtopW wrote:10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
I thought an unnamed BNer would like number 2
And let all God's children say...Amen

Re: TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...

Posted: November 18, 2006 1:26 pm
by UAHparrothead
ragtopW wrote:10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
This is so true, I think I like number 5 better than number 2 :lol:

Re: TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...

Posted: November 18, 2006 1:59 pm
by Tequila Revenge
UAHparrothead wrote:
ragtopW wrote:10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
This is so true, I think I like number 5 better than number 2 :lol:

All you need to do is get one of those Mega Churches and you'll get paid Mega bucks!

Seriously, I admire Rick Warren giving back all his salary for all the years he drew one from Saddleback.

Re: TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...

Posted: November 18, 2006 2:30 pm
by RinglingRingling
Tequila Revenge wrote:
UAHparrothead wrote:
ragtopW wrote:10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
This is so true, I think I like number 5 better than number 2 :lol:

All you need to do is get one of those Mega Churches and you'll get paid Mega bucks!

Seriously, I admire Rick Warren giving back all his salary for all the years he drew one from Saddleback.
you mean one of the "cult of personality" churches that will fall apart as soon as you kick, rather than understanding the message is the important part and the messenger is interchangeable?

Re: TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...

Posted: November 18, 2006 3:21 pm
by Tequila Revenge
RinglingRingling wrote:
Tequila Revenge wrote:
UAHparrothead wrote:
ragtopW wrote:10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
This is so true, I think I like number 5 better than number 2 :lol:

All you need to do is get one of those Mega Churches and you'll get paid Mega bucks!

Seriously, I admire Rick Warren giving back all his salary for all the years he drew one from Saddleback.
you mean one of the "cult of personality" churches that will fall apart as soon as you kick, rather than understanding the message is the important part and the messenger is interchangeable?
Come on RR.... it's only in America :D

Posted: March 15, 2008 4:02 pm
by smokindave
ooppppssss