Subject: Redneck Medical Dictionary

[ragtopW]

(An oldie with a redneck twist and plus a few new ones)





Artery.........................The study of paintings.
Benign........................What you do after you be eight.
Bacteria......................Back door to a cafeteria.
Barium.......................What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section.....A neighborhood in Rome .
Cat Scan.....................Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize....................Made eye contact with her.
Coma...........................A punctuation mark.
Dilate...........................To live long.
Enema.........................Not a friend.
Fester...........................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula...........................A small lie.
Hangnail.....................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent.. ...................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pains...............Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.............A Doctor's cane.
Morbid........................A higher offer than I bid.
nitrates........................Cheaper than day rates.
Node.............................I knew it.
Pelvis............................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative..........A letter carrier.
Rectum........................Darn near killed him.
Seizure.........................Roman emperor.
Tablet...........................A small table.
Tumor..........................More than one.
Urine............................Opposite of you're out.
Varicose......................Near by.

[spoonerhizolehound]

How about....

Herpes...........A Greek God
Clavicle..........A Woodwind Instrument
Psychosis.......That movie about the guy who dressed up like his mama
Terminal........That movie about the robot guy
Anus.............The deputy on The Dukes Of Hazaard
Prostate.........Someone who played real good college ball
Ligament........That chain of hardware stores that went out of business
Ecoli...............The cough drop with those Swedish people in the commercial
Salminella.......Aint that that I-talian restaurant in town?
Testicles..........AN Octupus's arms
Gingivitis.........The full name of that redheaded girl on Gilligan's Island
Tourettes.........The things women clip their hair with


...let me stop. I can go all night with this kind of stuff.