6 Best Smart A$$ Answers of 2006

ParrotHeadDeb · Post by **ParrotHeadDeb** » December 12, 2006 7:36 pm

THE 6 BEST SMART A$$ ANSWERS OF 2006

SMART A$$ ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John,
seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART A$$ ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to
check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART A$$ ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMART A$$ ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his
way without a ticket.

SMART A$$ ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes
up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his
hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says,
"No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.

SMART A$$ ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no
other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-a$$ guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class
is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the
teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly
says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

aeroparrot · Post by **aeroparrot** » December 12, 2006 7:39 pm

Here's your sign.....

Left Field ParrotHead · December 12, 2006 8:42 pm

Bill Engvall wrote:It's like before my wife and I moved.
Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway.
My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?"
"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes."
"Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine.
We pulled his boat into the dock.
I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock asks, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"
"Nope, we talked 'em into giving up."
"Here's your sign."

Yep, Here's your sign...

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » December 12, 2006 11:49 pm

TropicalTroubador · Post by **TropicalTroubador** » December 14, 2006 2:14 pm

SMART A$$ ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to
check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

"Well, it looks something like a man's penis...only smaller."

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » December 14, 2006 2:18 pm

"ohmygod, how did you hit a deer with the airplane?"
"well sweetie, let's just say Santa doesn't have a full team for Christmas this year"

Capt.Flock · Post by **Capt.Flock** » December 14, 2006 2:22 pm

Wonder if Janice loves telling this story

SMART A$$ ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no
other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-a$$ guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class
is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the
teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly
says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » December 14, 2006 2:43 pm

Capt.Flock wrote:Wonder if Janice loves telling this story

SMART A$$ ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no
other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-a$$ guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class
is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the
teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly
says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

aren't most of her students female?

Capt.Flock · Post by **Capt.Flock** » December 14, 2006 2:45 pm

RinglingRingling wrote:
Capt.Flock wrote:Wonder if Janice loves telling this story

SMART A$$ ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no
other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-a$$ guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class
is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the
teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly
says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
aren't most of her students female?

that is true ,that is also why she had to wait for the laughter to die down

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » December 14, 2006 3:06 pm

Capt.Flock wrote:
RinglingRingling wrote:
Capt.Flock wrote:Wonder if Janice loves telling this story

SMART A$$ ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no
other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-a$$ guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class
is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the
teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly
says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
aren't most of her students female?
that is true ,that is also why she had to wait for the laughter to die down

ahhh. When Janice told it last time, it wass a girl's voice from the back.

unclejohn · Post by **unclejohn** » December 17, 2006 3:06 pm