Wife Jokes

11bravo · Post by **11bravo** » February 12, 2007 1:29 pm

Wife: Honey..... What are you looking for?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour??
Husband: I was just looking for the expiration date.
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Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and No.
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Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
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Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
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A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
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Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.
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A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.

unclejohn · Post by **unclejohn** » February 12, 2007 4:04 pm

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » February 12, 2007 7:23 pm

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » February 12, 2007 7:24 pm

bravedave · Post by **bravedave** » February 12, 2007 9:28 pm

Two guys are sitting at the bar, nursing drinks.
One guy notices they are both wearing wedding rings, so he asks, "How long you been married?"
The second guy replies, "Five years. But it feels like five minutes...

...under water."

moeron · Post by **moeron** » February 13, 2007 10:38 pm

I won't let my wife see these..