Signs That You Are Too Drunk

AdamBomb8 · Post by **AdamBomb8** » February 15, 2007 11:38 am

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Your job is interfering with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream.

Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

You sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? I think not!

Two hands and just one mouth.. - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

You can focus better with one eye closed.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

You fall off the floor..

Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

At AA meetings you begin: 'Hi my name is.. uh..'

Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.

The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in..

You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alchohol, and [Women or Men].

Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.

Roseanne looks good.

Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

That damned pink elephant followed me home again.

I'm as sober as a judge.

The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

You wake up screaming 'TORO TORO TORO!' in the middle of the night.

East Texas Parrothead · February 15, 2007 11:40 am

One more ....

You FRIBBLE before a Jimmy Buffett show.

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » February 15, 2007 11:43 am

East Texas Parrothead wrote:One more ....

You FRIBBLE before a Jimmy Buffett show.

and by Fribbling... you get to enjoy most of the rest of the list afterward.

TropicalTroubador · Post by **TropicalTroubador** » February 15, 2007 2:32 pm

Rehab is for quitters.

Wino you know · Post by **Wino you know** » February 15, 2007 4:16 pm

The sad thing about drunks is they give drinking a bad name.

bckohnen · Post by **bckohnen** » February 15, 2007 6:23 pm

AdamBomb8 wrote:You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Oof. Been there a few times.

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » February 15, 2007 8:30 pm

He only has two regrets

"One is he has to stop sleeping to drink
and the other is he has to stop drinking
to sleep.."

Mrs Andy Capp

flipflopgirl · Post by **flipflopgirl** » February 17, 2007 3:45 am

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » February 21, 2007 9:36 am

ragtopW wrote:He only has two regrets

"One is he has to stop sleeping to drink
and the other is he has to stop drinking
to sleep.."

Mrs Andy Capp

Flo was a long-suffering woman, wasn't she?

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » February 21, 2007 10:10 am

I hit most of those last night and I'm suffering today. UGGGGGggggg. Wow my keyboard is loud.

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Signs That You Are Too Drunk

Signs That You Are Too Drunk

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