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seminolegrl06 wrote: Apparently, if we want to stay at home we are wrong. If we want to be in the workplace we are wrong. If we want to do both we are too ambitious. If we dont want to get married we are selfish. If we do get married we are settleing. If we dont want to have kids we are bad. If we do want to have kids we better be at home to take care of them..

There are always going to be groups of women, groups of PEOPLE that are like that. I call them the Militant Mommies.....I grew up in Utah, believe me I have knowledge about that.

I chose to do it all, I had a career, a marriage and kids.....it was hard and it wasn't perfect. My family undoubtedly made sacrifices because of my career....but it afforded them other things....of course, the obvious financial benefits....but it afforded them independence....and reliance on themselves....and it created a beautiful and amazing bond between my kids and their dad. I worked nights a lot and many nights he was the scary monster killer and the middle of the night sick kid tender....that has carried over to their bond in their teenage and adult years!

I really don't get a feel here that anyone is like that......there is a broad base of experience and a broad base of attitudes and I think respect begets respect.

Pick up a copy of MORE magazine....it's intended for women 40 and older, but there are a lot of great articles and a lot of support and encouragement for women.

I LOVE women.....my girlfriends are truly one of the most important aspects of my life....I wish them all health and happiness in whatever form they can find it.

pbans wrote:

seminolegrl06 wrote: Apparently, if we want to stay at home we are wrong. If we want to be in the workplace we are wrong. If we want to do both we are too ambitious. If we dont want to get married we are selfish. If we do get married we are settleing. If we dont want to have kids we are bad. If we do want to have kids we better be at home to take care of them..

There are always going to be groups of women, groups of PEOPLE that are like that. I call them the Militant Mommies.....I grew up in Utah, believe me I have knowledge about that.

I chose to do it all, I had a career, a marriage and kids.....it was hard and it wasn't perfect. My family undoubtedly made sacrifices because of my career....but it afforded them other things....of course, the obvious financial benefits....but it afforded them independence....and reliance on themselves....and it created a beautiful and amazing bond between my kids and their dad. I worked nights a lot and many nights he was the scary monster killer and the middle of the night sick kid tender....that has carried over to their bond in their teenage and adult years!

I really don't get a feel here that anyone is like that......there is a broad base of experience and a broad base of attitudes and I think respect begets respect.

Pick up a copy of MORE magazine....it's intended for women 40 and older, but there are a lot of great articles and a lot of support and encouragement for women.

I LOVE women.....my girlfriends are truly one of the most important aspects of my life....I wish them all health and happiness in whatever form they can find it.

Well, I'll be darned!!!!! I LOVE women too!!!!

Ambition At Bay wrote:

pbans wrote:

seminolegrl06 wrote: Apparently, if we want to stay at home we are wrong. If we want to be in the workplace we are wrong. If we want to do both we are too ambitious. If we dont want to get married we are selfish. If we do get married we are settleing. If we dont want to have kids we are bad. If we do want to have kids we better be at home to take care of them..

There are always going to be groups of women, groups of PEOPLE that are like that. I call them the Militant Mommies.....I grew up in Utah, believe me I have knowledge about that.

I chose to do it all, I had a career, a marriage and kids.....it was hard and it wasn't perfect. My family undoubtedly made sacrifices because of my career....but it afforded them other things....of course, the obvious financial benefits....but it afforded them independence....and reliance on themselves....and it created a beautiful and amazing bond between my kids and their dad. I worked nights a lot and many nights he was the scary monster killer and the middle of the night sick kid tender....that has carried over to their bond in their teenage and adult years!

I really don't get a feel here that anyone is like that......there is a broad base of experience and a broad base of attitudes and I think respect begets respect.

Pick up a copy of MORE magazine....it's intended for women 40 and older, but there are a lot of great articles and a lot of support and encouragement for women.

I LOVE women.....my girlfriends are truly one of the most important aspects of my life....I wish them all health and happiness in whatever form they can find it.

Well, I'll be darned!!!!! I LOVE women too!!!!

What a coinkydink!!!

One thing that apparently needs to be made clear (not to you, AAB...just to lazy to make another post! ):

No one is accusing anyone who gets married of "settling". It's only settling when you choose to get married for the sake of having someone around, even if they don't treat you how you deserve to be treated and don't enrich your life with their support and love. That's a recipe for unhappiness.

Brown Eyed Girl wrote:

Ambition At Bay wrote:

pbans wrote:

seminolegrl06 wrote: Apparently, if we want to stay at home we are wrong. If we want to be in the workplace we are wrong. If we want to do both we are too ambitious. If we dont want to get married we are selfish. If we do get married we are settleing. If we dont want to have kids we are bad. If we do want to have kids we better be at home to take care of them..

There are always going to be groups of women, groups of PEOPLE that are like that. I call them the Militant Mommies.....I grew up in Utah, believe me I have knowledge about that.

I chose to do it all, I had a career, a marriage and kids.....it was hard and it wasn't perfect. My family undoubtedly made sacrifices because of my career....but it afforded them other things....of course, the obvious financial benefits....but it afforded them independence....and reliance on themselves....and it created a beautiful and amazing bond between my kids and their dad. I worked nights a lot and many nights he was the scary monster killer and the middle of the night sick kid tender....that has carried over to their bond in their teenage and adult years!

I really don't get a feel here that anyone is like that......there is a broad base of experience and a broad base of attitudes and I think respect begets respect.

Pick up a copy of MORE magazine....it's intended for women 40 and older, but there are a lot of great articles and a lot of support and encouragement for women.

I LOVE women.....my girlfriends are truly one of the most important aspects of my life....I wish them all health and happiness in whatever form they can find it.

Well, I'll be darned!!!!! I LOVE women too!!!!

What a coinkydink!!!

One thing that apparently needs to be made clear (not to you, AAB...just to lazy to make another post! ):

No one is accusing anyone who gets married of "settling". It's only settling when you choose to get married for the sake of having someone around, even if they don't treat you how you deserve to be treated and don't enrich your life with their support and love. That's a recipe for unhappiness.

"coinkydink"

You don't know what a coinkydink is?

Brown Eyed Girl wrote:You don't know what a coinkydink is?

Rut-Roh nope

Ambition At Bay wrote:

Brown Eyed Girl wrote:You don't know what a coinkydink is?

Rut-Roh nope

Just funnin' ya, Scooby. It's a silly word for coincidence.

Coinkydink, ginormous, liarface....all much better than the original words.

Brown Eyed Girl wrote:

Ambition At Bay wrote:

Brown Eyed Girl wrote:You don't know what a coinkydink is?

Rut-Roh nope

Just funnin' ya, Scooby. It's a silly word for coincidence.

Coinkydink, ginormous, liarface....all much better than the original words.

HA ya got me haven't had my afternoon beer nap yet

Ambition At Bay wrote:

Brown Eyed Girl wrote:

Ambition At Bay wrote:

Brown Eyed Girl wrote:You don't know what a coinkydink is?

Rut-Roh nope

Just funnin' ya, Scooby. It's a silly word for coincidence.

Coinkydink, ginormous, liarface....all much better than the original words.

HA ya got me haven't had my afternoon beer nap yet

See, ya learn something new everyday! You should have a beer to celebrate!

Beer nap? I haven't even had a beer...been too busy exercising this morning. I think they tend to frown on riding your bike and drinking beer at the same time...although I could have used a couple of beer cans or bottles to throw at the dogs that were chasing me.

Ambition At Bay wrote:

pbans wrote:

seminolegrl06 wrote: Apparently, if we want to stay at home we are wrong. If we want to be in the workplace we are wrong. If we want to do both we are too ambitious. If we dont want to get married we are selfish. If we do get married we are settleing. If we dont want to have kids we are bad. If we do want to have kids we better be at home to take care of them..

There are always going to be groups of women, groups of PEOPLE that are like that. I call them the Militant Mommies.....I grew up in Utah, believe me I have knowledge about that.

I chose to do it all, I had a career, a marriage and kids.....it was hard and it wasn't perfect. My family undoubtedly made sacrifices because of my career....but it afforded them other things....of course, the obvious financial benefits....but it afforded them independence....and reliance on themselves....and it created a beautiful and amazing bond between my kids and their dad. I worked nights a lot and many nights he was the scary monster killer and the middle of the night sick kid tender....that has carried over to their bond in their teenage and adult years!

I really don't get a feel here that anyone is like that......there is a broad base of experience and a broad base of attitudes and I think respect begets respect.

Pick up a copy of MORE magazine....it's intended for women 40 and older, but there are a lot of great articles and a lot of support and encouragement for women.

I LOVE women.....my girlfriends are truly one of the most important aspects of my life....I wish them all health and happiness in whatever form they can find it.

Well, I'll be darned!!!!! I LOVE women too!!!!

Just for the record.....I LOVE men, as well........
but women just happened to be the topic of discussion!

seminolegrl06 wrote:

ph4ever wrote:

seminolegrl06 wrote:

ph4ever wrote:

so if you've got a friend that's continually having relationships with married men and then is devastated when they don't leave their wives you're the type of friend that won't say squat. OK that's the way you are.

As far as me being blinded and jaded by my age - oh you poor thing, bless your heart.

being supportive of when she calls you at 2 am crying is one thing. Pointing out that maybe there might be pattern is one thing. Telling her what to do is quite another.

Things are slightly different now a days. I know this situtaion where he did leave his wife. Actually two situations like that. So what am I supposed to tell my friends? it could never happen to them? Maybe this married guy "settled" (like you feel so many people are these days) and he likes my friend. Either way, if he is divorced and giving it a shot with her, who am I to tell her not to try to? I mean he gave up a lot because he felt it was something worth trying for.

But I should say children are not in the mix. (he did not have any yet)

I just have to say things are different now a days. There are girls who are "settle" for the MRS lifestyle.

I will always be supportive of my firends. Friends are the family you choose. But I am not their mother, it is not my job to tell them what to do or scold them for doing something I wouldn't do.

like I said, years have not jaded me. Casual relationships, casual sex, its amazing to get a guy to stop sleeping around. And unlike the past its out there in the open. So a girl find a guy that just wants to stop for a moment and hangout with them, they want to figure out why. He may not be perfect, but he wants to give her an earnest chance why not go for it?

Jumping from relationship to relationship has its benefits, sometimes you figure out what you don't want from people.

I have the chronic relationship friend. I really do. But there is nothing to say to her. She admits that she needs to be in a relationship. So the only thing left for me to do, is love her for who she is because thats what she does for me.

People don't change. Either love them for who they are and have them in your life (friends, guy friends, or boyfriends and husbands) or be done with them. You cannot teach someone your "mistakes" and sometimes people need their own learning process to figure it out.

So I guess you are the lecturer friend who no one really talks to anymore because you are so disapproving. Thats ok be a friend like that.

how sad that you are so narrow minded and such an authority on life at such a young age

Tell me - how many friends have you burried? two, although technically one died in iraq.Ever hugged a friend dieing of AIDS goodbye telling him he shouldn't be sorry for his lifestyle? no and that's the last time you talk cause they die? well since the above question is no, than i guess this one has to be as well.Ever had a friend commit suicide? yes.
Ever have a friend murdered? not a close one.
Ever even work with people with a terminal disease, or the homeless? the later.Do you still have parents alive? fortunatly yes, but they are both 49, generally, barring something tragic they are in good health. So I am thankful for that.have you lost your child? depends on how you want to classify that.

You are assuming I haven't lived any life at least by the questions that are supposed to make you superior to me.

I could go and drink 40s on the corner, but they don't sell 40s in florida

Most of my best guy friends are in iraq or going to iraq. its pretty sad. and I worry like mad about them. But when they willingly signed up to go, I told them that I was proud of them.

What do you want to me to say? to the above? that you are more rightous because you have gone through these things?

You know, you asked what is wrong with woman these days. I told you what was wrong.

Apparently, if we want to stay at home we are wrong. If we want to be in the workplace we are wrong. If we want to do both we are too ambitious. If we dont want to get married we are selfish. If we do get married we are settleing. If we dont want to have kids we are bad. If we do want to have kids we better be at home to take care of them.

Woman do it to themselves. You all have literally painted me into a corner that is, if im not 40 or 50 something and divorced I dont know anything about the world.

The world has changed considerably. Expectations and values are different. And yet women are being held back by the same generation who burned their bras/ got out of the home and into the workplace because they still can't make up their minds about it, and are scolding all the girls that are finally making your own way.

You really need to quit being so damn defensive towards the older women here. You act as if we have our heads in the sand and don't even realize what is going on in the world.

Yes we are the women the burned our bras - so women in the future could possibly have equal wages or even equal jobs for equal ability. We're the generation that put women in patrol cars, fire houses and the board rooms where they have never been allowed before. So freaking sue us.

Because of our generation - your generation is able to support the war effort in positions other than a nurse or a fetch coffee desk job for some officer. If you ask me you should thank us much as we thanked our foremothers that obtained the right to vote for us women.

If any of your friends get pregnant by their married bf's and want an abortion - well guess what - we facilitated that for your generation too.

Yes we grew up in the 60's, 70's and 80's. We came into our own at at time of our country when a great change and awareness was going on. We've lived through a lot - but then you and some of your generation feel that we're stupid and don't know a thing. That's ok - because not everyone in your generation is as narrow minded as you are.

Did we suffer consequences because of the "era" we were raised - HELL YES!!! And it's those consequences that we old women need to teach the younger generation about if people like you would just open your ears and listen.

What you percieve as us flip flooping back and forth - did you ever think that maybe we've looked back, re-evaluated where we made our mistakes and have tried to correct them?

As we were being "working" women - achieving our dream we did so with consequences. Yes the world of today is different - and we're part of that reason. As mothers we failed to instill good common sense in your generation. We let your generation raise yourselves at what expense? Some of us have even been too guarded with our children - not teaching them about life's evils and pitfalls and what to look for to avoid.

Yes the world of today is different from the 60's and 70's but a lot of it is still the same too. We faced a war that not everyone was in favor of, we protested against that war and some of our protesters were shot and killed by "the government". We also protested and fought for equal rights for women and blacks. We've faced crime - hell because of us date rape is a crime and not something you just deal with. We've faced the drug issues too - hell some of us helped create the problem. We are the generation that faced AIDS and some of are currently facing a virus stronger than the HIV virus. And unfortunately, some of us have passed that virus to our children because we didn't know we had it when we were pregnant.

Your generation has the potential to be more f'd up than ours. We don't want you to make all the same mistakes we did as a society because if we don't learn from our mistakes, we don't grow. And if we don't pass our experience on to our children - then what kind of parent are we? There's an old saying - it takes a village to raise a child.

So sue us for trying to instill in the young women and men of today our experiences. It is sad to see people your age that have no respect for what your mother and the rest of the women our age have lived through.

I'm so glad that not everyone in your generation are as closed and narrow minded as you are. Or maybe it's just the young women that are f'd up - I don't know as I deal with males your age more than females. Do I expect my son or his friends to follow every piece of advice I have for them - OH HELL NO. But I can see where my being honest and forthright with them has helped them not make some of the stupid mistakes my generation did.

So f'ing sue our generation since you know it all and have nothing to learn from us. IMHO - you're in the wrong thread - you need to go to the At what age did you know it all thread - you know it all and feel our life's experiences are s h i t

ph4ever wrote: So f'ing sue our generation since you know it all and have nothing to learn from us. IMHO - you're in the wrong thread - you need to go to the At what age did you know it all thread - you know it all and feel our life's experiences are s h i t

SMLCHNG wrote:

ph4ever wrote: So f'ing sue our generation since you know it all and have nothing to learn from us. IMHO - you're in the wrong thread - you need to go to the At what age did you know it all thread - you know it all and feel our life's experiences are s h i t

Connie, we're mostly her parents' age.... Not sure she's reached that age yet where you realize that your parents might actually know a thing or two....

SchoolGirlHeart wrote:

SMLCHNG wrote:

ph4ever wrote: So f'ing sue our generation since you know it all and have nothing to learn from us. IMHO - you're in the wrong thread - you need to go to the At what age did you know it all thread - you know it all and feel our life's experiences are s h i t

Connie, we're mostly her parents' age.... Not sure she's reached that age yet where you realize that your parents might actually know a thing or two....

Yep, you're so right, Jen. I remember those times.. just a FEW years ago.

SchoolGirlHeart wrote:that age yet where you realize that your parents might actually know a thing or two....

When I was 18, Dad was one of the three dumbest men that had ever walked the face of this planet.
I can't help but notice that he gets smarter every year.

Elrod wrote:

SchoolGirlHeart wrote:that age yet where you realize that your parents might actually know a thing or two....

When I was 18, Dad was one of the three dumbest men that had ever walked the face of this planet.
I can't help but notice that he gets smarter every year.

Remember that day when the world kicked you in the head, knocked you flat on your ass, then kicked you in the ass, and you realized that maybe, just maybe, you had a lot to learn?

E, I suspect you and I might be able to pinpoint that day with somewhat more accuracy than some....

SchoolGirlHeart wrote:Remember that day when the world kicked you in the head, knocked you flat on your ass, then kicked you in the ass, and you realized that maybe, just maybe, you had a lot to learn?

Vividly.

SchoolGirlHeart wrote:E, I suspect you and I might be able to pinpoint that day with somewhat more accuracy than some....

10 Feb 1983

Elrod wrote:

SchoolGirlHeart wrote:Remember that day when the world kicked you in the head, knocked you flat on your ass, then kicked you in the ass, and you realized that maybe, just maybe, you had a lot to learn?

Vividly.

SchoolGirlHeart wrote:E, I suspect you and I might be able to pinpoint that day with somewhat more accuracy than some....

10 Feb 1983

I thought probably so...

06 July 1978

Its pretty simple.....

Unless you pay my bills... you have no right to tell me what to do.... as long as I am living within the law of our land and not causing any harm to myself or others.

However..... I know for a fact that taking advice from people significantly older than you when you are in your twenties is a hard pill to swallow. SO my advice is.... dont. Go it alone, make the mistakes we did and when you get to be in your forties.... find some unsuspecting twenty year old and let her have it. It will make you feel better and you'll find some sweet sixty year old and spend a few hours with her listening to anything she wants to tell you.

ToplessRideFL wrote:Go it alone, make the mistakes we did and when you get to be in your forties.... find some unsuspecting twenty year old and let her have it. It will make you feel better and you'll find some sweet sixty year old and spend a few hours with her listening to anything she wants to tell you.