BuffettNews.com

Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
leaving you forever. I've been a good husband to you
for 7 years, and have nothing to show for it. These
last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
tell me that you quit your job today, and that was the
last straw. Last week, you came home, didn't even
notice that I had a new haircut,had cooked your
favorite meal and even wore a new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep
after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me
you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything
that connects us as husband and wife. Either you are
cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever
the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are
moving away to West Virginia together. Have a great
life!

Dear EX-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your
letter. It's true that you and I have been married for
seven years, although a good husband is a far cry from
what you have been. I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out you constant whining and griping. Too
bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a
hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a girl!" Since my mother
raised me not to say anything, if you can't say
something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked
my favorite meal, you must have gotten me mixxed up
with MY SISTER, because I quit eating pork seven years
ago. About those silk boxers : I turned away because
the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed
that it was a coincidence that my sister had just
borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all
of this I still loved you and felt that we could work
it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million
dollars, I quit my job , and bought us 2 tickets to
Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason , I guess. I hope you
have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer
says that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a
dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your EX-WIFE, Rich
as Hell and FREE!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my
sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.