Comprehending Accountants

[britparrothead]

1. What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a
way you don't understand

2. What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.

3. When does a person decide to become an accountant?
When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed
as an undertaker.

4. What does an accountant use for birth control?
His personality.

5. What's an extroverted accountant?
One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you
instead of his own.

6. What's an auditor?
Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the
wounded.

7. Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that's what they did
last year.

8. How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a
road map the wrong way.

9. What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can
do?
Go into town and gang-audit someone.

10. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.

And finally.......

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see
his doctor.
'Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night.'
'Have you tried counting sheep?'
'That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three
hours trying to find it'

[bravedave]

8. How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a
road map the wrong way.

Hmmm, ...
I must be part accountant...

[ragtopW]