BuffettNews.com

This morning I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who called 'out-of-the- blue' to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic."

"Wow!" I was flabbergasted.

"I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a lot grayer than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge."

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a guy with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days. Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, I'm getting dark circles under my eyes, and I fall asleep really easily."

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me; saying that tubby, gray-haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to f--k off & hung up.