BuffettNews.com

You know you're too old to play gigs when:

1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp
2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.
3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.
4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub
5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your playlist
6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie
7. You lost the directions to the gig
8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings
9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage
10. You feel like hell before the gig even starts.
11. The waitress is your daughter
12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers
13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats
14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case
15. You refuse to play without earplugs
16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30
17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig
18. Your gig stool has a back
19. You're related to at least one member in the band
20. You don't let any one sit in
21. You need a nap before the gig
22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lay down
24. You prefer a music stand with a light
25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon
26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever.....
27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor.
28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're younger than your daughter.
29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location ...
30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it

Love it!

Laughing my a** off!!

Snowparrot wrote:You know you're too old to play gigs when:

18. Your gig stool has a back

28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're younger than your daughter.

18. When I went to the Cream reunion concert, Jack Bruce sat on a stool for all the songs he didn't sing. But the stool didn't have a back.

28. Luckily, I don't have any daughters. That I know of.

31. Your band is called "The Geriatrics" and you keep a walker close by.

Snowparrot wrote:You know you're too old to play gigs when:

The Snowparrot Brother ain't there yet,.......
is he?

He was the one who sent me that list, and when I asked him if it was true, he said, "Ohhh Yeahhhh!"
But while he only confesses to half or less... he can see them coming.

Wonder how many JB will admit to?

Well Snow, let's see about Jimmy:

1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp

Not sure

2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.

Well, that teal or whatever shirt IS called a golf shirt by many, isn't it?

3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.

NO WAY!! They're just getting going!

4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub

We'll have to ask those groupies in the know.

5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your playlist

Every elevator I've been in (not to mention most dentist's offices) has had a muzak version of Margaritaville going.

6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie

Done!

7. You lost the directions to the gig

GPS re-wrote the rules

8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings

Jimmy? For sure! Remember that SI picture with thbe models?

9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage

Does breaking legs multiple times count?

10. You feel like hell before the gig even starts.

That's what a cup of cold soup is for- be sure to salt the rim for the full benefit. It would never taste right without the Cuervo and Triple sec though.

11. The waitress is your daughter

Does the pre-show DJ count?

12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers

Naw, he's way to smooth for that.

13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats

NOT!!!!

14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case

Tokens? Who needs tokens!

15. You refuse to play without earplugs

Does he or doesn't he? Only his otorhinolaryngologist knows for sure

16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30

Try 8:00

17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig

Maybe the MLB schedule?

18. Your gig stool has a back

easy to cover up this age related condition- mjust wear a cinch belt under the shirt

19. You're related to at least one member in the band

Or possibly one multi billionaire

20. You don't let any one sit in

He loves guest musicians

21. You need a nap before the gig

Probably does

22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.

Three sets? Three?

23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lay down

What DOES he do?

24. You prefer a music stand with a light

Just a teleprompter

25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon

Maybe not til Friday

26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever.....

N/A

27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor.

Plenty of help, also a non-issue

28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're younger than your daughter.

Jimmy feeling guilty? Savanah knows he looks, so does Jane. Ain't nothin' wrong with looking!

29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location ...

In these naming rights days even a rather fresh five year veteran can remember seven different names!

30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it

He still remembers very clearly[/quote]

I don't wanna grow old............................

I guess...let's see...The Rolling Stones...Jimmy Buffett...getting old...getting older...younger people with over 2000 some posts on a website with too much time on their hands make up supposedly funny posts about them...

So who is so old that you are talking about? Willie Nelson? If anyone thinks the Stones should hang it up then Jimmy should too.

They both use teleprompters now....

- You print out your set lists using larger fonts than you used to.

- You use lyric sheets or a Teleprompter on stage, because you keep forgetting the songs.

- The oldies station plays the music you stopped listening to.

[quote="TropicalTroubador"]- You print out your set lists using larger fonts than you used to.

- You use lyric sheets or a Teleprompter on stage, because you keep forgetting the songs.

- The oldies station plays the music you stopped listening to.[/quote]

I know my brother is at this stage... how about You?

(and thanks for the comments, Al: I missed them earlier)