Men vs. Women Showering
Posted: April 15, 2008 4:57 pm
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks. Walk into
bathroom wearing long dress gown. If you see your husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Make mental note ........Must do more sit-ups.
Get into shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah, and pumice stone.
Wash your hair with Cucumber Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with
Grapefruit Mint conditioner, enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes, until red.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair. You must make sure that it has all come off.
Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area, but
decide to get it waxed instead. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose water pressure. Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Tweeze hairs.
Return to bedroom wearing long dress gown and towel on head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas, then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way,
shake your wiener at her, making the "woo-woo" sound. Look at your manly
physique in the mirror to see if you have pecs. (No)
Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your
butt. Get in shower. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands, then
let the water just rinse it off. Crack up at how loud your farts sound.
Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.
Shampoo your hair. Do not use conditioner. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.
Pee in the shower, no need to aim.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because
you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
Partially dry off. Look at yourself in the mirror.
Flex muscles. Admire the wiener size again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
Leave bathroom fan and light on.
Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist.
If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her,
and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on the bed.
Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks. Walk into
bathroom wearing long dress gown. If you see your husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Make mental note ........Must do more sit-ups.
Get into shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah, and pumice stone.
Wash your hair with Cucumber Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with
Grapefruit Mint conditioner, enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes, until red.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair. You must make sure that it has all come off.
Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area, but
decide to get it waxed instead. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose water pressure. Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Tweeze hairs.
Return to bedroom wearing long dress gown and towel on head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas, then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way,
shake your wiener at her, making the "woo-woo" sound. Look at your manly
physique in the mirror to see if you have pecs. (No)
Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your
butt. Get in shower. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands, then
let the water just rinse it off. Crack up at how loud your farts sound.
Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.
Shampoo your hair. Do not use conditioner. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.
Pee in the shower, no need to aim.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because
you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
Partially dry off. Look at yourself in the mirror.
Flex muscles. Admire the wiener size again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
Leave bathroom fan and light on.
Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist.
If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her,
and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on the bed.
Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
