Travelin'man wrote:@ Rutgers
vs. Wisconsin
@ Toledo
@ UCLA
@ Boise St.
Can it be done? If so...this will be an amazing/satisfying year!
Long as we don't stub our toe vs. Idaho, San Jose, etc.
Goooooooo Dogggggs!
Oooh, I'd like to come down for the Wisconsin game, but you might not love me anymore.
We're not starting the season out so great with Sanchez out with a dislocated knee. Hopefully our backups can step it up and prove themselves. Small consolation, at least UCLA lost their starter too.
Planning for the college football season in the South is radically different than up North. For those who are planning a football trip South, here are some helpful hints......
Women's Accessories:
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.
Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America .
Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Giuliani
SOUTH: Herschel Walker & Peyton Manning
Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus, make a large financial contribution, and put name on a waiting list for tickets.
Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance from the Charlie Daniels Band,... who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off the bottle of Jack Daniels.
Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it is the state's third largest city.
Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for Jack Daniels.
When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.
The Smell in the Air after the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of Jack Daniels.
Commentary (Male):
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs."
Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs."
Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more Jack Daniels, and planning begins for next week's game.
Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the glories of Southern football!
And for SEC Fans:
HOW MANY SEC STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
At VANDERBILT: it takes two, one to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.
At GEORGIA : it takes two, one to change the bulb and one to stabilize the rolling beer cooler the bulb changer is using for a ladder.
At FLORIDA: it takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get stoned off the old one.
At ALABAMA: it takes five, one to change it, three to reminisce about how The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at anNCAA investigator.
At OLE MISS: it takes six, one to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
At LSU: it takes seven, and each one gets credit for five Semester hours.
At KENTUCKY: it takes eight! One to screw it in and seven to discuss
how much brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.
At TENNESSEE : it takes ten, two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lampshade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk about how much they hate Alabama .
At MISSISSIPPI STATE : it takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb, two to buy the Skoal, and twelve to yell, "GO TO HELL, OLE MISS".
At AUBURN : it takes one hundred, one to change it, forty-nine to talk about how they did it better than at Bama and Georgia, and fifty to get drunk and roll Toomer's Corner when finished.
At SOUTH CAROLINA : it takes 80,000, one to screw it in and 79,999 to discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent football team.
At ARKANSAS : None. There is no electricity in Arkansas
"The sound of the weather is Heaven's ragtime band."
Bob Roberts wrote:Your preseason #1 UGAy dawgs.........
I guess we know how their preseason preparations are going.
and I was going to give you a break this year Bob.....
and the Dawgs being ranked #1 preseason is a death sentence in my opinion.
Tennessee 2005: Preseason #3, picked to win the SEC, rash of injuries, plenty of off-the-field problems.................5-6
Georgia 2008: Preseason #1, picked to win the SEC, quite of few key preseason injuries, plenty of off-the-field problems lately.........................???
"The sound of the weather is Heaven's ragtime band."
Bob Roberts wrote:Your preseason #1 UGAy dawgs.........
I guess we know how their preseason preparations are going.
and I was going to give you a break this year Bob.....
and the Dawgs being ranked #1 preseason is a death sentence in my opinion.
Tennessee 2005: Preseason #3, picked to win the SEC, rash of injuries, plenty of off-the-field problems.................5-6
Georgia 2008: Preseason #1, picked to win the SEC, quite of few key preseason injuries, plenty of off-the-field problems lately.........................???
I know man.. trust me
When they run you out of town make it look like you are leading the parade.
Bob Roberts wrote:Tennessee 2005: Preseason #3, picked to win the SEC, rash of injuries, plenty of off-the-field problems.................5-6
Georgia 2008: Preseason #1, picked to win the SEC, quite of few key preseason injuries, plenty of off-the-field problems lately.........................???
I know man.. trust me
Hey man, I don't want that to happen to you all....just giving you fair warning from experience. Now, yes I do want Tennessee to beat you all like a drum, but I always pull for SEC teams to do well throughout the season and put theirselves in a position to do something like you all and LSU did at the end of last season.
"The sound of the weather is Heaven's ragtime band."
Bob Roberts wrote:Tennessee 2005: Preseason #3, picked to win the SEC, rash of injuries, plenty of off-the-field problems.................5-6
Georgia 2008: Preseason #1, picked to win the SEC, quite of few key preseason injuries, plenty of off-the-field problems lately.........................???
I know man.. trust me
Hey man, I don't want that to happen to you all....just giving you fair warning from experience. Now, yes I do want Tennessee to beat you all like a drum, but I always pull for SEC teams to do well throughout the season and put theirselves in a position to do something like you all and LSU did at the end of last season.
I know and I appreciate it. Good luck with your season.
When they run you out of town make it look like you are leading the parade.
Bob Roberts wrote:Planning for the college football season in the South is radically different than up North. For those who are planning a football trip South, here are some helpful hints......
Women's Accessories:
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.
Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent football team.
At ARKANSAS : None. There is no electricity in Arkansas
That was funny. I am sure 99% of the SEC population scratched their head at the Sylvia Plath refence and went back to playing the spoons.
Afternoon Golfer wrote:That was funny. I am sure 99% of the SEC population scratched their head at the Sylvia Plath refence and went back to playing the spoons.
I can play spoons with the best of 'em! By the way, who the h*ll is Sylvia Plath?
Last edited by Bob Roberts on August 19, 2008 6:34 am, edited 2 times in total.
"The sound of the weather is Heaven's ragtime band."
Afternoon Golfer wrote:That was funny. I am sure 99% of the SEC population scratched their head at the Sylvia Plath refence and went back to playing the spoons.
I can play spoons with the best of 'em! By the way, who the h*ll is Sylvia Plath?
I had to Google her but figured it was worth if for the joke!!!!
Hopefully our backups can step it up and prove themselves. Small consolation, at least UCLA lost their starter too.
By the way, who the h*ll is Sylvia Plath?