When Hallmark writers rebel

[CaptainP]

When Hallmark writers rebel:


**********
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire…
I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


**********
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don’t fret about it…
She moved in with me.



**********
Looking back over the years
that we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder…
‘What the hell was I thinking?’



**********
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.


**********
How could two people as beautiful as you,
Have such an ugly baby?



**********
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.


**********
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go…
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You’ll probably need it again.


**********
When we were together,
you always said you’d die for me.
Now that we’ve broken up,
I think it’s time you kept your promise.


*************
We have been friends for a very long time …
Let’s say we stop?


*************
I‘m so miserable without you,
It’s almost like you’re here.


**************
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?



***************
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we’re having you put to sleep.



**************
So your daughter’s a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it’s really good pay

[pinacolada lover]

[flipflopgirl]

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[C-Dawg]

LMAO!!!!! Loved this one
When we were together,
you always said you’d die for me.
Now that we’ve broken up,
I think it’s time you kept your promise.

[ragtopW]

[yes i am a]

[RinglingRingling]

thu-thumpthumpthump

[pinacolada lover]

[csmithnj]

Worked in a card store growing up. Best card I ever saw.

Outside - I'm OK

Inside - You're a schmuck