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I know a guy who says he's got an aunt so big that when you meet her in the hall it's easier to jump over her than go around.

I heard she got hit by a truck, but the driver was found not guilty.
Seems he didn't have enough fuel to drive around her.

"I heard she got hit by a truck, but the driver was found not guilty.
Seems he didn't have enough fuel to drive around her."

Is this the same aunt I met the other day who had a canned ham wedged between her teeth?

Is that the one with her own Zip code and page on Google Earth?

I hear that when she lays around the house, she lays *around* the house.

She cut her leg and gravy came out.

The back of her neck look like a pack of hot dogs.

When I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

The only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

She is so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.

She is so fat she leaves stretch marks in the bathtub.

I could go on all day with these. And don’t get me started with the grosser than gross.