Detroit Lions 2009 Schedule
Posted: January 11, 2009 8:23 am
2009 LIONS SCHEDULE
September
13..................... Taft Junior High School
20......................Cub Scout Troop #101
27..................... Detroit Academy for the Blind
October
04.....................Dominos Pizza Detroit Staff (free pizza night)
11.....................Bloomfield Hills Senior Center
18.................... Eloise Mental Hospital
25.....................Girl Scout Troop # 353
November
01..................... Michigan Venereal Disease Clinic
08.....................Fraser Boys Choir
15.....................Korean War Vets
22..................... National Hospital Pastorial Ministers
26.................... Great Lakes Sychronized Swimming Team
SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME (should be a close one)
December
08.................... Detroit Tigers
** RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **
All of the Detroit Lions Football Team are allowed to use steroids.
Lions will now be paid only if they actually participate in a game. (and then at minimum wage)
Coaching will no longer be necessary. (wait, that stays the same doesn't it?)
Fans will be paid to attend and given free beer and a place to nap.
Once the fans leave the stadium they will be forced to take a Lions souvenir jersey with them.
** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line. For all you Lions fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points.
2 - The Lions will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
3 - The Lions will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.
4 - The Lions will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team.
5 - The Lions will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards.
** NAME CHANGE **
The Detroit Lions name will be changed to the "Detroit Tampons" as they are only good for one period and have no second string
** PLAYER CHANGE **
Field goal kicker will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She will no
doubt blow a few, but she certainly won't choke on the big ones!!!
September
13..................... Taft Junior High School
20......................Cub Scout Troop #101
27..................... Detroit Academy for the Blind
October
04.....................Dominos Pizza Detroit Staff (free pizza night)
11.....................Bloomfield Hills Senior Center
18.................... Eloise Mental Hospital
25.....................Girl Scout Troop # 353
November
01..................... Michigan Venereal Disease Clinic
08.....................Fraser Boys Choir
15.....................Korean War Vets
22..................... National Hospital Pastorial Ministers
26.................... Great Lakes Sychronized Swimming Team
SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME (should be a close one)
December
08.................... Detroit Tigers
** RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **
All of the Detroit Lions Football Team are allowed to use steroids.
Lions will now be paid only if they actually participate in a game. (and then at minimum wage)
Coaching will no longer be necessary. (wait, that stays the same doesn't it?)
Fans will be paid to attend and given free beer and a place to nap.
Once the fans leave the stadium they will be forced to take a Lions souvenir jersey with them.
** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line. For all you Lions fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points.
2 - The Lions will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
3 - The Lions will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.
4 - The Lions will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team.
5 - The Lions will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards.
** NAME CHANGE **
The Detroit Lions name will be changed to the "Detroit Tampons" as they are only good for one period and have no second string
** PLAYER CHANGE **
Field goal kicker will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She will no
doubt blow a few, but she certainly won't choke on the big ones!!!