Larry The Cableguy

[rich_big]

I think these are absolutely hilarious. I love listening to this guy on the Blue Collar Comedy channel. I went to Pollstar to see his tour dates, and wouldn’t you know it, just like the rest of the folks I want to see, his west coast itinerary is northern cal and Vegas. I would love to see him live. I really like #17…


Larry The Cableguy's proverbs....................


1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't s***, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

[pair8head]

I've seen that list attributed to a few others before.
The first time I saw it it was supposedly George Carlin
then it was Steven Wright.
Don't know who really came up with it and don't care.

[dnw]

[Karacal]

These are great....

[jayparrot46]

Larry is funny

[surfpirate]

I've seen that list attributed to a few others before.
The first time I saw it it was supposedly George Carlin
then it was Steven Wright.
Don't know who really came up with it and don't care.

The first one was a Steve Martin joke from the 1970s.
Agree though ... it's a funny compilation.