Top Ten Reasons You Know You Are Rearing Parakeets
10. When you arrive to pick your daughter up from choir practice, she has the entire youth group lined up on the front steps of the church, teaching them the lyrics and hand motions to “Fins.”
9. Your son apologizes to his teacher for not paying attention, saying he was Havana daydreaming.
8. It is tradition at the dinner table in your household to pass the salt…”salt, salt, salt.”
7. Your daughter remembers the correct meanings of rotation and revolution for her science test by singing “One More Candle and a Trip around the Sun” to herself.
6. For Halloween, your son dresses as a huge pink shrimp. He is accompanied by his father, in a white sport coat. Your daughter goes as Carmen Miranda.
5. Suddenly and inexplicitly, in the middle of the Christmas Eve service, your son begins singing “It’s 5:00 Somewhere.”
4. Both children know they can get an extra scoop of ice cream out of you by dropping down, clasping their hands together, and singing, “PpppPlease! From the knees of my heart!”
3. Your children’s goldfish are named Frank and Lola.
2. When asked to give the class an example of a simile, your daughter sings, “He shook it like a holy roller, baby, with his soul at stake, his soul at stake.”
AND…
1. When reprimanded for picking up a candy bar in the grocery checkout without paying, your son replies, “We ain’t stealing, we just taking back.”
"While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats." Mark Twain
