Men's Age as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot

[PerfectPartner]

Men's Age as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house -
mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or
whatever. You are re hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You
have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the
hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an
old pair of tennis shoes..
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project
you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help
complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow
dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes.
Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favourite
cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while
standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the
pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes.
You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands
and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still
got it. Add a shot of your favourite cologne to cover the smell.
The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you
went to school with.

In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to
cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different
shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is
almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot.
Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The
spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you
feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear
that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the
register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.
Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar
and it says, 'I Got Worms.'

In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat
anymore. Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror
was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear
on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the
register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not
sure.

In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog doo-doo on your
shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you
remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you
remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart
instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart
out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school
with the old lady who greeted you at the front door..

In your 90's & beyond: What's a home deep hoe?
Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I?
Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted

[dnw]

[Snowparrot]

I'm married to the guy in his 60s, and the hardware store is only 2 blocks away......

[PerfectPartner]

I'm married to the guy in his 60s, and the hardware store is only 2 blocks away......

Oh my...... You poor thing!

[citcat]

Yep. Hubby is in his 50's and doin' it RITE !!

[jayparrot46]

[Saltx3]

This is too funny...good thing I had swallowed my coffee before I got to .....in the 50's

[phjrsaunt]