It's "Everyone Needs a Smile Tuesday"

[JollyMon66]

Everyone can use a little help on Tuesday - here are 25 lines to make you smile

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
11.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
12.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
13.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
14..Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
15.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
16.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
17.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
18..A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
19.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
20..Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
21..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
22..Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
23..The trouble with life is there's no background music.
24..The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
25..I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!

[VanillaGrl]

<---------smiling

Thanks, JM!

[flipflop444]

make my morning.

thanks jm

[parrothead_girl_5]

That is great! Just what I needed!

[TropicalTroubador]

Now *that's* funny.

18..A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

That's going onto my Facebook and/or Twitter feed.

Thanks!

Loren

[dnw]

[sailorkid94]

25..I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Every Day

[nutmeg]