How many ____________ does it take to screw in a light bulb?

[Bicycle Bill]

How about a whole new thread where we can post all the "How many _________ does it take to screw in a light bulb" jokes?
I'll start:

Q)  How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A)  Seventeen. One to put in the bulb, six to tell you how much better things will be once the bulb is in place, and ten to lobby for increased funding for solar energy projects.

-"BB"-

[SeattleParrotHead]

None, 'cuz the republicans don't want them to change it . . . . (it wasn't their idea.)

[Bicycle Bill]

Q)  How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A)  Only two, but no has figured out yet how they got in there.....

-"BB"-

[tikitatas]

How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.

[spainjane]

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua: 'We don't need no stinking light bulb.'
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.


How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?
Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:
'How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?'
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

[Parrothead27330]

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.


I love this one. I Heart Boxers

[Conolulu]

Ok...This one is from 2007 on here...




How Many BNers does it take to change a light bulb?


1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

[tigzoe]

Ok...This one is from 2007 on here...




How Many BNers does it take to change a light bulb?


1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

LOL! That is so true it is scary

[Conolulu]

LOL! That is so true it is scary

I'm pretty sure "we" wrote it one night in one of the threads....

[Ceol na Mara]

I remember that one! It was funny then, still funny now!

And I love the dogs and cats ones.

And the flies and the telemarketers. How true!

And the dems and repubs!

Any more?

[tikitatas]

Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

[TropicalTroubador]

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Californians don't screw in light bulbs; they screw in hot tubs.

---------------

Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. But the bulb really has to want to change.

---------------

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

A: "What? And ruin my nails?"

----------------

How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, to hand it to the psychologist, thus reducing the problem to one that has already been solved.

[BahamaBreeze]

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.


I love this one. I Heart Boxers

Chihuahua: 'We don't need no stinking light bulb.'

[phjrsaunt]

Loving all the above!

[Parrothead27330]

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.


I love this one. I Heart Boxers

Chihuahua: 'We don't need no stinking light bulb.'

That is one mean looking pooch!

[PetalMel]

okay, I'm still laughing about the lab response (as my lab sits at my feet and whines because I won't play with him....)


I also heart the psychologist one Being a social worker, I use that one all the time.

[karat]

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.



LOVE BCs! Of course mine is on the couch dreaming!

[buffettbride]

Ok...This one is from 2007 on here...




How Many BNers does it take to change a light bulb?


1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

LOL! That is so true it is scary

You forgot the 5 people to ask if the light bulb is dating a shirt.

[tryin' to reason]

And 5 to add "What XXX said" - which certainly adds a lot to advance the discussion...

[big john]

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Don't bother. I'll just sit here in the dark.